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shadowolf1120's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/10/2012 at 5:17pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
by haunted / 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 5:35am / United Kingdom / Work
Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2011 at 4:17am / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 / 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by TuteSweet / 08/12/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by 99520 / 07/28/2011 at 11:25am / United States (Indiana) / Health
by Cowgirl_Up37 / 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 2:12am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
by thatguy / 06/25/2011 at 3:47am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting at the computer browsing various websites. In my attempt to scoot the chair forward, I hit my knee against the desk that my computer was on, and ended up breaking it. I literally broke my knee sitting on my ass. FML
by Charles / 06/21/2011 at 12:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML
by Danielle / 06/06/2011 at 3:00pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by aarone23 / 06/01/2011 at 9:30am / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation
by BrownDump / 05/14/2011 at 6:43am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 05/11/2011 at 10:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall… Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy… Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during…