Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

shadowofbong

Online | Search for a member

shadowofbong

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 January 1984 (31 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 376
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About shadowofbong : Just here for the laughs... so no messages

shadowofbong's page activity

Visits<b>Johnatron</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 10:27am<b>Gallik01</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 3:19pm<b>tasbaby</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 5:40am<b>Domdom96</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 4:19pm<b>sig4life</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 1:29pm<b>marulicko</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 6:12am<b>jaybaldi</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:47am<b>MorbidAngels</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 5:02am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 6:15pm<b>alicealiveordead</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 7:47am<b>thatepicguy</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 2:28pm<b>WTF_BRAIN</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 8:17am<b>muzy</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 5:18pm<b>DanShowsNoMercy</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 6:46am<b>peacheso</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 2:01am<b>minauto</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 1:41am<b>porschefox2014</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 12:31am<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 5:48pm

shadowofbong's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of shadowofbong's badges

shadowofbong's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML

#21446247
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22811) - you deserved it (9199)

On 07/23/2015 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by stargate25 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

#21443815
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29470) - you deserved it (3817)

On 07/19/2015 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, most of my family was out of the house, so I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and browse some porn. Five minutes later my sister comes and asks me to disconnect from bluetooth and that my "dinosaur noises" were blocking her and her friend's music. I'm currently hiding in shame. FML

#21441140
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22544) - you deserved it (10772)

On 07/13/2015 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by Nigel - United States

Today, I started working my new summer job at McDonald's. Only 2 hours into my first shift, my tooth falls out onto a young girl's tray of food. Not only did she see it, but my managers and other people waiting in line all saw it. I don't think I have a summer job anymore. FML

Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has been denying me sex isn't because he is scared of someone walking in on us. It's because his blow-up doll pleasures him more than I do. FML

#21417148
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29698) - you deserved it (4770)

On 05/28/2015 at 2:05pm - intimacy - by MarieAmber18 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML

#21411283
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29455) - you deserved it (2277)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that we wouldn't move in together as we had planned to do for a long time. His mother forbade it. He is 27. FML

#21407402
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26728) - you deserved it (2573)

On 05/09/2015 at 7:03pm - love - by forever alone (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

#21394468
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32428) - you deserved it (4932)

On 04/16/2015 at 1:04am - intimacy - by Evra (woman) - United States

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

#21372045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (348) - you deserved it (48761)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

#21364671
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29790) - you deserved it (2670)

On 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Y_Y (man) - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30527) - you deserved it (3301)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, while working at my salon, I was cutting an older gentleman's hair. When he got up to leave, everyone noticed he had clearly pissed his pants. I felt bad for him until he laughed and said, "Here's your tip, have fun cleaning that up." FML

#21358633
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31819) - you deserved it (2071)

On 02/18/2015 at 2:48pm - work - by breyn (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML

#21346746
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26003) - you deserved it (6900)

On 01/30/2015 at 10:11am - intimacy - by Chemist-why (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29980) - you deserved it (13194)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my date mugged me, just minutes after I paid our bill at the restaurant. FML

#21320485
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32927) - you deserved it (2473)

On 12/19/2014 at 6:27pm - money - by j4 - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: