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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21907) - you deserved it (60458)
On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178359) - you deserved it (61520)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34247) - you deserved it (4392)
On 02/15/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by cjk004 - United States (California)
Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21707) - you deserved it (42869)
On 02/12/2009 at 11:17am - intimacy - by florisvanlent (man) - Netherlands (Drenthe)
Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7073) - you deserved it (33768)
On 02/10/2009 at 12:59am - misc - by Tennisplayer (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
I agree, your life sucks (484916) - you deserved it (43575)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
I agree, your life sucks (484916) - you deserved it (43575)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)
Today, I was teaching a class but kids were chatting. After 3 soap box speeches about "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went "meow". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14347) - you deserved it (4717)
On 01/09/2009 at 3:54am - kids - by Liz - Sent from mobile version
Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come on, don't be shy, bring that cock in here right now!". A voice replies: "he's gone out to get some bread". It was my mother in law. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32430) - you deserved it (10875)
On 11/20/2008 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Tinker-Bell - Sent from mobile version
Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (22279) - you deserved it (10174)
On 11/20/2008 at 7:55am - love - by batgirl - Sent from mobile version
Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (227121) - you deserved it (18806)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi -
Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (227121) - you deserved it (18806)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi -
Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (227121) - you deserved it (18806)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi -
Friday 24 May 2013
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