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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was pulling into a parking garage space and using the next car over to judge where the wall was in front of me, but ended up whumping my front bumper as I pulled forward. Wondering what had happened, I got out to see that the car I was aligning myself against had hit the wall too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5613) - you deserved it (18335)
On 12/11/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was on a red-eye flight, and the woman beside me was chattering loudly to her friend. I opened my laptop and got to work. Suddenly, one of the women turned to me and told me that the clicking of my keyboard was too loud. She then called me an inconsiderate selfish bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31808) - you deserved it (1440)
On 12/06/2009 at 9:08pm - misc - by HassledAirfarer (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24050) - you deserved it (2657)
On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)
Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24050) - you deserved it (2657)
On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)
Today, I went to have my eyebrows waxed for the first time. After signing in the receptionist looked at me and said "Lip wax?". I told her no, my eyebrows. She sat me down and the waxer walked up, took one look at me and said "Lip wax?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23265) - you deserved it (8108)
On 11/09/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by LoserOfTheYear (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I filled out a 'perfect job placement' test, where you put down your skills, experience and education level and then it finds you jobs based on your abilities and areas of knowledge. No lie, the most compatible job they found for me was 'Dishwasher'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20630) - you deserved it (4192)
On 11/04/2009 at 12:26am - work - by dishwasherforlife (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25982) - you deserved it (3242)
On 10/25/2009 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75035) - you deserved it (10606)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75035) - you deserved it (10606)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40788) - you deserved it (2979)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56425) - you deserved it (3657)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, I had a restraining order put on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside their home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street for the past six years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41564) - you deserved it (1503)
On 09/27/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by stalker (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that my boss plays a trick on all the interns. He calls you to his office, then leaves you waiting outside until you get annoyed and leave. Apparently, the old record was 45mins. I waited 4 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36715) - you deserved it (7986)
On 09/15/2009 at 5:32pm - work - by stillwaiting (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (51056) - you deserved it (11675)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9730) - you deserved it (53700)
On 09/10/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by itisthedude (man) - United States (Virginia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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