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sh00t

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 96
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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sh00t's favorite FMLs

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

#20894419
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50275) - you deserved it (4822)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Craigslist is Evil. - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML

Today, it was the day of my wedding. I had a massive headache a couple of hours before the ceremony so I decided to take a nap. I told my brother to wake me up an hour before it started. He forgot. Now everyone thinks I ran out on my wife. FML

#20856967
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44696) - you deserved it (6513)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:23pm - love - by dhskkf (man) - United States

Today, I was waiting in line with my boyfriend behind me. I decided to hold his hand and rub his chest while we waited. Then I heard a female voice behind me that said, "Ma'am, please don't touch me." FML

#20852134
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40537) - you deserved it (15095)

On 08/24/2013 at 11:18am - misc - by cpmolly (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML

#20850902
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42784) - you deserved it (3365)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:21pm - misc - by fucking financial ruin (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. Someone walked up to me and said, "Wow, you look so different!" She then followed it up with, "You used to be so pretty, what happened?" FML

#20849795
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39002) - you deserved it (3060)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Ugly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

#20848315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43749) - you deserved it (21547)

On 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by me (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

#20846451
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52964) - you deserved it (5947)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

#20841540
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57645) - you deserved it (6708)

On 08/17/2013 at 10:18am - love - by why - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I watched TV in the early morning. I was watching The Ring, and when the scene came on where the girl is crawling out of the TV, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML

#20838885
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42793) - you deserved it (7703)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by insomniac x2 (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

#20838513
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49139) - you deserved it (3136)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:34am - work - by lawman (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML

#20829558
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44094) - you deserved it (3156)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm - work - by pardon my English :$ (woman) - France

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47491) - you deserved it (8742)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

Today, I had to put my little sister to bed. Usually my mom sings her a lullaby before she puts her to sleep, so I did too. After I finished the song, my sister looked me dead in the eyes and said, "This is why I tell people we aren't related." FML

#20826525
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45517) - you deserved it (5046)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:09am - kids - by NextAmericanIdol? - United States (Maryland)



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  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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