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sexysaltshaker

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sexysaltshaker

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 395
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About sexysaltshaker : Always late, always blonde, always yawning.

sexysaltshaker's page activity

Visits<b>saocrates</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 8:04pm<b>abylenee_</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 5:50pm<b>Fyrepower</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 6:47pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 3:54pm<b>Advait07</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:44pm<b>carsonator45</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:17pm<b>peanutbutter247</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:36am<b>okcnation</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:44am<b>Animekid126</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:35am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:34am<b>mo12345</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:05am<b>vikky538</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:07am<b>metheonlyb</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 10:24pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:49pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:30pm<b>Dozer1988</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:34pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:24pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:54pm

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sexysaltshaker's favorite FMLs

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

#20985559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48277) - you deserved it (4568)

On 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by mistletoe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML

#20974447
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54865) - you deserved it (4023)

On 11/29/2013 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML

#20972427
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40392) - you deserved it (3804)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML

#20972428
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39318) - you deserved it (3785)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by paranoid neighborhood - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML

#20971159
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41607) - you deserved it (2858)

On 11/26/2013 at 8:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

#20969751
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54837) - you deserved it (5803)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

#20968220
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43212) - you deserved it (2912)

On 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm - misc - by fs (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59419) - you deserved it (4294)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

#20965814
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43385) - you deserved it (2914)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm - animals - by thatsnotacat - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34527) - you deserved it (2823)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML

#20098929
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30598) - you deserved it (2504)

On 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by praise the prenup (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

#20079219
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28812) - you deserved it (1877)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm - misc - by jitiizer (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

#20073337
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29487) - you deserved it (6514)

On 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm - love - by hannah (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to, used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

#19851648
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22875) - you deserved it (1598)

On 06/26/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was riding the bus, a lady told her daughter to sit next to me. She looked at me and started to scream and cry in horror. FML

#19357176
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20816) - you deserved it (2425)

On 03/27/2012 at 12:32pm - misc - by AmihayG - Israel



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