sexybitch85

Search for a member

sexybitch85

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 October 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 178
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About sexybitch85 : Future Wedding Planner!

sexybitch85's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

sexybitch85's favorite FMLs

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

by AllegroRubato / 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm / Chile (Region Metropolitana) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, after years of bad blood, my husband decided to invite his parents to dinner. After making rude remarks about my pregnancy, his dad eventually muttered that I'm a slut. My husband punched him, his wife called the police, and now I'm all alone while he sits in a jail cell for battery. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

by sal / 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2012 at 9:31am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend and best "friend" getting intimate. In a dim-witted attempt to cover up, my best friend proclaimed, "This isn't what it looks like!" I might have given him the benefit of the doubt, had he not still been inside my girlfriend at the time. FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 12:04am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 12:17am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

by kaitlyna15 / 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML

by mystery / 06/16/2012 at 10:08pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out through Instagram that the guy I'm dating has a wife and two kids. FML

by hailsatan666 / 06/09/2012 at 2:43pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

by Rob / 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to his and my family what we do in bed. And it was pretty detailed. FML

by crazyman. / 05/12/2012 at 1:27am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML

by Hunter101 / 05/12/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy