About sexxme : i'm sierra.
About sexxme : i'm sierra.
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sexxme's favorite FMLs
by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Nickname / 10/12/2011 at 4:05pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML
by ohgawd / 10/08/2011 at 2:48am / United States (Washington) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/04/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals
Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML
by drastech99 / 09/23/2011 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
by Nickname / 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML
by wittlegirl / 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
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- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was…