Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About seximexi911 : hmm names mayra, im 22 and live in atlanta. im extremely chill and easy to get along with. i love to meet new people and go out and have fun just living my life. I love music and photography, but my beautiful daughter and my fiancé are my life. :)
"And the road to life, yes it goes up and down, doesn't really matter as long as the music goes on."
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he had ever cheated on me. In the most sincere and honest tone, he said "if I ever have or ever will, there's no way you would ever find out. I love you too much to lose you", and gave me a hug. FML
Today, I was cashier at work. The line came to a stop, but there was still people there. I kept saying next, but no one moved. I finally looked over the counter where there was a lady who had been standing there the whole time. She was a midget. FML
Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a math test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. I had to get a tooth removed. In the middle of the procedure, the power went out. I had to sit there for an hour to wait for it to come back on. The anesthetic wore off before he started working on me again. FML
Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on my new roommate's cheek, so I told her to stand still so that I could flick it off. Several long seconds of flicking made me realize that it wasn't a spider at all. I had been flicking her hairy mole. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend was having lunch with my parents. Believing she was in love with me and feeling the same, I dropped by. My parents told me that she’s their friend and that she has a boyfriend that they approve of, all while telling me I was never good enough for her. FML
Today, to spice things up a bit my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML
Friday 5 February 2016