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sexaybitch

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 9:01pm) | Search for a member

sexaybitch

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 143
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About sexaybitch : Hey there! My name is Nicole! I love gays because....... I'm a lesbian! I support any one and judge no one no matter what kind of religion, skin color, or sexual orientation. Help spread gay pride! I have the best and most beautiful girlfriend ever, I have been dating her for 4 years now and I would do anything in the world for her and I absolutely love her to pieces and... She proposed!!

sexaybitch's page activity

Visits<b>rodns</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 6:17pm<b>newzealand</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 8:36am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 7:04pm<b>freezingmylife</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 11:55am<b>JRT1393</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 10:45am<b>Sublimeguy82</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 7:49am<b>benjamins39</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 3:42pm<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 12:10pm<b>staaacey</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:31am<b>Hunterdagreat</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 10:28pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 1:54pm<b>mariannezr</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 10:54pm<b>melons</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 7:39pm<b>MarcoLoco</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 6:51pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:36pm<b>julianthegreat</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 11:29am<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:44pm<b>Misskreher</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 9:41pm

sexaybitch's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of sexaybitch's badges

sexaybitch's favorite FMLs

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40260) - you deserved it (6114)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50621) - you deserved it (6626)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to marry me and be the father of my children. Five minutes later, he told me he wants to experience death. FML

#21188654
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42537) - you deserved it (4711)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:03am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

#21183414
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42178) - you deserved it (5615)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML

#21181415
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41088) - you deserved it (22176)

On 06/20/2014 at 1:06am - misc - by anon - United States (Missouri)

Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52389) - you deserved it (4607)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my new Commanding Officer is my ex-wife's new boyfriend. We're going on a two year tour at sea in two weeks. The reason we got a divorce is that she couldn't handle being tied down with someone in the Navy. FML

#16882996
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46488) - you deserved it (3022)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Drunken Sailor - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

#13799884
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16070) - you deserved it (33551)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML

#4523157
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57426) - you deserved it (4812)

On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML

#3091991
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9471) - you deserved it (61950)

On 06/21/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by creepyeyes (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

#1600602
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124024) - you deserved it (6685)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

#1395
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19286) - you deserved it (9029)

On 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by stellarshaun - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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