About sex_and_drugs : Hey I'm pretty awkward and don't kno what to say in these things... but my names Sam. I'm a vegetarian and have been my whole life just my style meat tastes yucky to me and has since I emerged from the womb. I Love music Pierce the Veil is my favorite band but I also really like Motionless In White, Ghost Town and We Came As Romans my favorite bands right there. so yea if you're still reading this I'm sorry my life's so boring you're wasting your time lol byee
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (119321) - you deserved it (5923)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I drove a drunk Venezuelan exchange student home after a prom party. Notable events: her puking on the way to the vehicle, her yelling in Spanish at the top of her lungs in the car, her puking out the window in the moving vehicle, and her crying because she felt bad for making me drive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34085) - you deserved it (3447)
On 06/20/2009 at 3:37am - misc - by DesDri (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44753) - you deserved it (3270)
On 06/17/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by automaticfail_00 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17619) - you deserved it (43069)
On 06/10/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by sluttydancer (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33765) - you deserved it (109267)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my younger brother watched an old music video of The Who, who are know for smashing up their guitars and such. He decided it would be cool to try it with mine. That guitar was worth over $3000. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69531) - you deserved it (3421)
On 04/09/2009 at 10:43pm - misc - by FML4evs (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46776) - you deserved it (127895)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible so I spoke to my window thinking she couldn't hear me "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6027) - you deserved it (64982)
On 03/08/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Smash_Mouth - United States (Florida)
Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year - "why is someone as smart, funny and as handsome as you with someone like me?" he replied - "opposites attract." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36899) - you deserved it (22636)
On 02/28/2009 at 1:55pm - love - by sprocket (woman) - Hong Kong
Today, at work, we finally got a digital projector so our theater can show 3D movies. Our first movie is The Jonas Brothers Concert. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57725) - you deserved it (7189)
On 02/25/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8717) - you deserved it (34409)
On 02/06/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I had lunch with a couple of my friends and a guy I like. Another guy I have a crush on came and ate with us too. After lunch, one of the guys I have a crush on told me the other guy I like is sexy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12355) - you deserved it (2558)
On 01/15/2009 at 10:07am - love - by dexter - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60859) - you deserved it (2826)
On 12/05/2008 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Mak1 - Belgium (Brabant)
Monday 20 May 2013
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