About sex_and_drugs : Hey I'm pretty awkward and don't kno what to say in these things... but my names Sam. I'm a vegetarian and have been my whole life just my style meat tastes yucky to me and has since I emerged from the womb. I Love music Pierce the Veil is my favorite band but I also really like Motionless In White, Ghost Town and We Came As Romans my favorite bands right there. so yea if you're still reading this I'm sorry my life's so boring you're wasting your time lol byee
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Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29928) - you deserved it (43719)
On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend told me she was bored. During sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26032) - you deserved it (16299)
On 02/16/2011 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11291) - you deserved it (37851)
On 12/29/2010 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while at my mom's birthday dinner, I started to pretend to drum with one hand, using my left leg as the drums. Everybody stared at me and started to yell. Now they all think I was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16659) - you deserved it (8162)
On 12/05/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27112) - you deserved it (2478)
On 10/24/2010 at 8:21am - misc - by mzgabbster (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31144) - you deserved it (7586)
On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16926) - you deserved it (22166)
On 09/08/2010 at 2:53am - intimacy - by dom - United States
Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42877) - you deserved it (6018)
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43841) - you deserved it (5525)
On 08/16/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5219) - you deserved it (31625)
On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was looking through my boyfriends phone, when I found a naked picture of myself. Too bad I haven't sent him any. Ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28394) - you deserved it (10082)
On 07/29/2010 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Sunshine.0.ninja - United States (Ohio)
Today, my wife changed her facebook status from "married" to "widowed". I'm scared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57406) - you deserved it (4262)
On 06/02/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21936) - you deserved it (2280)
On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6112) - you deserved it (24529)
On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, a white guy tried to teach me to use chopsticks properly. I'm Chinese and have been using them since I could eat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24174) - you deserved it (3829)
On 02/10/2010 at 12:11am - love - by black_commet08 - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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