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Offline (the 01/07/2015 at 4:19am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 10 June 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1697
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About sex_and_drugs : Hey I'm pretty awkward and don't kno what to say in these things...

sex_and_drugs's page activity

Visits<b>saidoh</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 1:58am<b>trashyant</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:05pm<b>marmaries</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 10:39am<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 8:13am<b>iMuffindrops</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 10:50pm<b>CamBen</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 4:48am<b>jerryj</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 11:18am<b>gsaturnglow</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 7:10pm<b>killmenow03</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 12:13pm

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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sex_and_drugs's favorite FMLs

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2012 at 11:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I learned why one should never insert a tampon after squeezing lemons. FML

by memphis201 / 07/26/2012 at 1:20pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

by nick / 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML

by scorpionsurviver / 07/08/2012 at 5:47am / United States / Animals

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm / Spain (Castilla y Leon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2012 at 11:16am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

by polimeros / 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm / Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga) / Intimacy

Today, I confronted my girlfriend about cheating on me. Her response was that it's not cheating since she is getting paid. FML

by madseason / 05/06/2012 at 8:13pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, an exchange student was telling us how he once used a black light to detect semen stains on his "abstinent" ex-girlfriend's face. I called him out on the obvious lie, saying it's an old urban legend. He wigged out, screamed that I'm a "bastarding shite-wank" and ran out of class. FML

by Garry / 05/04/2012 at 5:53pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML

by bummed / 04/15/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my parents invited my Muslim boyfriend over for dinner for the first time. My mother made sure that everything including the salad had pork in it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2012 at 7:10am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

by BadIdea / 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm / France / Intimacy