About sex_and_drugs : Hey I'm pretty awkward and don't kno what to say in these things... but my names Sam. I'm a vegetarian and have been my whole life just my style meat tastes yucky to me and has since I emerged from the womb. I Love music Pierce the Veil is my favorite band but I also really like Motionless In White, Ghost Town and We Came As Romans my favorite bands right there. so yea if you're still reading this I'm sorry my life's so boring you're wasting your time lol byee
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Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36507) - you deserved it (2906)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36507) - you deserved it (2906)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23557) - you deserved it (1573)
On 09/11/2012 at 3:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15792) - you deserved it (1708)
On 09/10/2012 at 8:42pm - misc - by CaptainSaveAHoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14483) - you deserved it (5242)
On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States
Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18788) - you deserved it (2000)
On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14524) - you deserved it (1473)
On 08/28/2012 at 11:56am - love - by StillBetterThanTwilight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17369) - you deserved it (1307)
On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, after years of bad blood, my husband decided to invite his parents to dinner. After making rude remarks about my pregnancy, his dad eventually muttered that I'm a slut. My husband punched him, his wife called the police, and now I'm all alone while he sits in a jail cell for battery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21204) - you deserved it (1049)
On 08/19/2012 at 7:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31134) - you deserved it (1491)
On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31134) - you deserved it (1491)
On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11221) - you deserved it (22280)
On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my son displayed an interest in chess, and asked me to teach him to play. Five minutes in, I captured his queen. He screamed "SCREW THIS STUPID GAME", slammed his fist down on his pieces, and started crying because of the pain. He's fourteen years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15622) - you deserved it (2851)
On 08/13/2012 at 8:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25418) - you deserved it (2134)
On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15093) - you deserved it (4022)
On 08/07/2012 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Nightmares - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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