About sex_and_drugs : Hey I'm pretty awkward and don't kno what to say in these things... but my names Sam. I'm a vegetarian and have been my whole life just my style meat tastes yucky to me and has since I emerged from the womb. I Love music Pierce the Veil is my favorite band but I also really like Motionless In White, Ghost Town and We Came As Romans my favorite bands right there. so yea if you're still reading this I'm sorry my life's so boring you're wasting your time lol byee
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19044) - you deserved it (57873)
On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41292) - you deserved it (3134) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28085) - you deserved it (2429)
On 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by maybe dead in a day (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41993) - you deserved it (3120)
On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with the prettiest, most simple ring I have ever seen. I called my sister to tell her the good news, and her response was, "I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32131) - you deserved it (2312)
On 12/30/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40913) - you deserved it (2666)
On 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by AllegroRubato (man) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)
Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27891) - you deserved it (2705)
On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19503) - you deserved it (2630)
On 10/30/2012 at 2:45pm - animals - by Lilly - United States
Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22245) - you deserved it (3160)
On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I woke up and found a little note where my husband should have been. It said, "We've had some good times, hun, but it's time for me to move on." We've been married for 15 years, and have 3 children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33664) - you deserved it (1558)
On 10/17/2012 at 4:16pm - love - by AbandonedHouseWife - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8137) - you deserved it (19507)
On 10/09/2012 at 4:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25692) - you deserved it (2425)
On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States
Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17968) - you deserved it (6395)
On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)
Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21666) - you deserved it (1543)
On 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by praise the prenup (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20124) - you deserved it (1040)
On 09/17/2012 at 7:25am - health - by Missusluv313 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
