About sevlen : I Laugh at your pain!!
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15618) - you deserved it (56242)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50252) - you deserved it (7739)
On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, after a great night of sexual pleasure, I ran to answer the door. The angry woman standing there introduced herself. ''Hi, I'm your neighbor. My seven year old son's bedroom is just next to yours and when you scream at night he gets scared. Do you think you could keep it down?'' FML
I agree, your life sucks (36096) - you deserved it (23938)
On 08/02/2009 at 11:12am - intimacy - by kmb04 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my girlfriend and I were having ice cream and I jokingly asked "What's better? The sex or ice cream?" Apparently I don't pleasure her like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14957) - you deserved it (33978)
On 08/01/2009 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
I agree, your life sucks (71529) - you deserved it (4218)
On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41312) - you deserved it (9686)
On 07/18/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by blackntangirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend of over a year said she has been faking her orgasms since the first time we've had sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39247) - you deserved it (15119)
On 07/14/2009 at 2:19pm - intimacy - by guess28 (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was"Best positions for a small penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (73880) - you deserved it (9458)
On 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I decided to take a nap while babysitting my neighbors kids for the day. I was woken up by this obnoxious sound, only to find the youngest kid holding scissors in one hand, a pony tail of hair in his shorts jumping around like a horse, oh, and a bald spot on the back of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15873) - you deserved it (47853)
On 07/09/2009 at 8:19pm - animals - by armybrat - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend of a month had to leave early. I asked him why and he replied that his brother was getting off the bus and he needed to feed him. I had never met his brother, and I said "He can't feed himself? What is he, retarded?" He is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6920) - you deserved it (63379)
On 07/09/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was waiting in line for breakfast at the McDonalds drive-thru. After getting so fed up that the line hadn't budged for 10 mins, I decided to pull out of the line just to realize I was waiting behind 2 parked cars that were just to the left of the drive-thru lane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6325) - you deserved it (48051)
On 07/09/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by StUbbY (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got excited when my cell phone lit up because I hadn't received a single phone call all day. Turns out it was the "low battery" indicator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35032) - you deserved it (8186)
On 07/09/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by WaitingByThePhone (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41518) - you deserved it (2946)
On 07/08/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by ug (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)
Today, I thought I was home alone so I went to take a shower and left my door open. My dog came in, stole my bra, and ran out of my bathroom. I jumped out and followed him only to find out that my brother had two of his friends over. They all saw me naked and my dog had my bra in his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41838) - you deserved it (1417)
On 07/08/2009 at 1:51pm - animals - by coral (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45092) - you deserved it (5035)
On 07/06/2009 at 3:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 20 May 2013
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