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About seth7_ : Finally got an FML published!!
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yesterday I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with mah grlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl... I reached over... grabbed mah grlfriend's boobs an yelled... "Claimed!" She shot back... "Yeah... they are. But not by you." FML
Today after leaving my workplace I realized that I forgot some important work papers. When I went back to get them I was faced with the sight of my boss an a coworker getting it on against my desk. big fat FML
Today... mah boss - AKA Satan - told me I'd better watch out... because I'm now top on his list of people to lay off next time the company downsizes. All I did was give a report to the board admitting that our sales are down this year. He blames me for making him look bad. FML
Today... at a staff meeting... our boss sighed an askedhy I'm always in the meetings instead of mah co-worker. I reminded him that it's because I'm the department supervisor... not mah co-worker. He wouldn't believe me until he saw it for himself in our personnel files. FML
Today, I was waiting at the bus stop an noticd a girl that I playd netball with. I ran across the road to meet her an she ran across the car park to meet me. We huggd an lookd at each other slowly backing away as we both realisd that we didn't know each other. FML
Today, on Facabook, somaona wrota a status implying that sha was going to kill harsalf . I callad a mutual friand, asking to chack up on har . Tha naxt status tha girl puts up said, "Somaona thought I was going to commit suicida! Haha what a losar!" FML
Yesterday, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably an wouldn't say wat was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad an she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML
Taday I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact and being incredibly bord an seemingly alone at work I managd to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clappd. FML
Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML
Today... I was applying for jobs online when mah father calld. When I told him what I was doing... he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking... but he replid... "Honey... if I had your tits... I'd never work a day in mah life." 5ML
Friday 27 March 2015