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About selenagirl : Girl 1: "Team EDWARD!" Girl 2: "Team JACOB!" :) Me: "Team SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET A DAMN LIFE." when you realize you over slept, you get up from the bed like a ninja. Fake tan, Fake nail, Fake hair, Fake eyes, Fake boobs, girl, are you sure you weren't made in china?
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, we had our first rainstorm in weeks. Thirty seconds before it started, my window broke in the "down" position from overuse, since last week the air conditioning in my car gave out. Now I have a hot, wet car. FML
Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
Monday 3 August 2015