selenagirl

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selenagirl

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 June 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7035
  • Number of comments : 556
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About selenagirl : Girl 1: "Team EDWARD!" Girl 2: "Team JACOB!" :) Me: "Team SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET A DAMN LIFE." when you realize you over slept, you get up from the bed like a ninja. Fake tan, Fake nail, Fake hair, Fake eyes, Fake boobs, girl, are you sure you weren't made in china?

selenagirl's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

selenagirl's favorite FMLs

Today, we had our first rainstorm in weeks. Thirty seconds before it started, my window broke in the "down" position from overuse, since last week the air conditioning in my car gave out. Now I have a hot, wet car. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2010 at 12:27pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML

by kylie / 08/10/2010 at 3:22am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML

by Forgotten / 08/09/2010 at 10:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I found out that my husband was trying to cheat on me while I was away at basic training. I signed up for the service to pay off his debt. FML

by Jessi / 07/21/2010 at 3:32pm / United States / Love

Today, I found out that my husband was trying to cheat on me while I was away at basic training. I signed up for the service to pay off his debt. FML

by Jessi / 07/21/2010 at 3:32pm / United States / Love

Today, I found out that my husband was trying to cheat on me while I was away at basic training. I signed up for the service to pay off his debt. FML

by Jessi / 07/21/2010 at 3:32pm / United States / Love

Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML

by liz / 07/16/2010 at 3:45pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

by gentileman / 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love