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seffers411's FML badges
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seffers411's favorite FMLs
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
by kinkicali / 11/20/2012 at 3:43am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML
by Ugh / 11/04/2012 at 9:08pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Monkey / 10/27/2012 at 11:02am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML
by leaftheerickson / 10/21/2012 at 6:31am / United States (New York) / Health
by onorexveritas / 09/06/2012 at 12:54pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I found out that instead of going on a date with a girl I've liked for months, I'm going to be forced to have lunch with my grandmother tomorrow. Instead of losing my virginity, I will get to be interrogated about why I'm single. FML
by foreveravirgin / 08/15/2012 at 3:07pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 7:40am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
by Awkward / 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by really / 06/21/2012 at 1:30am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by maggierose171 / 05/19/2012 at 11:08am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML
by Anonymous / 05/18/2012 at 3:19pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy
by polimeros / 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm / Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga) / Intimacy
by Nice / 05/01/2012 at 9:58am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…