seffers411

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seffers411

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 October 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 150
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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seffers411's favorite FMLs

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

by kinkicali / 11/20/2012 at 3:43am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML

by Ugh / 11/04/2012 at 9:08pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML

by Monkey / 10/27/2012 at 11:02am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML

by leaftheerickson / 10/21/2012 at 6:31am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, the acne on one side of my face has flared up at the corners of my mouth, making me look just like The Joker. FML

by onorexveritas / 09/06/2012 at 12:54pm / United States (California) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that instead of going on a date with a girl I've liked for months, I'm going to be forced to have lunch with my grandmother tomorrow. Instead of losing my virginity, I will get to be interrogated about why I'm single. FML

by foreveravirgin / 08/15/2012 at 3:07pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 7:40am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML

by Awkward / 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

by really / 06/21/2012 at 1:30am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

by maggierose171 / 05/19/2012 at 11:08am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2012 at 3:19pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

by polimeros / 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm / Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML

by Nice / 05/01/2012 at 9:58am / Canada (Ontario) / Work