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seancttm

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seancttm's favorite FMLs

Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML

#20629579
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24202) - you deserved it (57812)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:26am - love - by bad day Brutus (man) - United States

Today, I was denounced for being a terrible person, because my family raises chickens, some of which we eat. I was then told how cruel I am for "killing innocent birds" and that "good" people buy their meat from the supermarket. FML

#20623167
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46404) - you deserved it (2789)

On 04/26/2013 at 2:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I purchased an app to track my period. When my mother asked me why I got it, I told her I was going to use it so I knew when to not go on a date because I don't want to be uncomfortable during a long movie. She slapped me in the face and called me a dirty prostitute and a liar. FML

#16752428
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45102) - you deserved it (8470)

On 06/19/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by stillAvirgin:( - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

#16689937
493 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15069) - you deserved it (215101)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me a video of him having sex with someone from one of his last relationships because he thought it would turn me on. FML

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36715) - you deserved it (14242)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my varsity swim team got second place in the State meet. My coach said I could bring the trophy home for the weekend. On the way home, I accidentally sat on it and broke it, cutting my butt. FML

#13319257
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9115) - you deserved it (31253)

On 10/04/2010 at 6:11pm - misc - by kat101 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12647) - you deserved it (113363)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my maid washed my PS3. Yes, with soap and water. FML

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

#3919884
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82975) - you deserved it (5674)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looks at me and asks "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML

#52695
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39432) - you deserved it (9993)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:08pm - misc - by k (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML

#735
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10493) - you deserved it (49627)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:07am - intimacy - by Noname - United Kingdom (Wokingham)



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