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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got pulled by a cop because I forgot to put my registration sticker on. I get nervous around authority and have nervous shakes. I ripped the registration sticker 3 times trying to put it on. The cop then gave me a ticket for "Improper Equipment". FML
I agree, your life sucks (20188) - you deserved it (4868)
On 04/30/2011 at 2:13am - misc - by Cody - United States
Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7419) - you deserved it (91268)
Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29480) - you deserved it (4479)
On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -
Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18520) - you deserved it (2768)
On 04/07/2011 at 7:28pm - misc - by ihateseagulls (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at a local talent show and during a piano performance I had to go to the bathroom. I sang along in the bathroom but was unaware how loud I was until I walked out and everyone started applauding me while the pianist was still playing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7521) - you deserved it (23460)
On 04/06/2011 at 2:19am - misc - by American idol -
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62537) - you deserved it (4542)
On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went with my beautiful fiancée to tell her Grandmother, who's a bit senile, that we were engaged. Her response: "I know he's very nice, but think about the chubby little ugly children he'll give you". This was followed by a recollection of her ex-boyfriends who would've fathered attractive kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24925) - you deserved it (2135)
On 04/03/2011 at 3:33am - misc - by Joe (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went with my beautiful fiancée to tell her Grandmother, who's a bit senile, that we were engaged. Her response: "I know he's very nice, but think about the chubby little ugly children he'll give you". This was followed by a recollection of her ex-boyfriends who would've fathered attractive kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24925) - you deserved it (2135)
On 04/03/2011 at 3:33am - misc - by Joe (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my friend called me at work to tell me that someone had hit my motorcycle and that it was in pretty bad shape. I chuckled and waited for the "April fools" that would follow. A picture of my wrecked bike came instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28874) - you deserved it (2541)
On 04/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Username - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was trying to replace the lightbulb in my bedroom. Since I couldn't reach it by myself, I grabbed and stood on a chair. After I got two broken bones, and had stitches in my forehead, I figured that using a chair with wheels probably wasn't the best idea after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7521) - you deserved it (52455)
On 03/31/2011 at 10:23pm - misc - by owies :( - United States (Florida)
Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26508) - you deserved it (5026)
On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my friends sat me down and said they were concerned I was self-harming. I don't self-harm, I'm just a massive klutz. They don't believe me, and want me to get professional help. And now, because I found it all so funny, they think I'm mentally unhinged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22596) - you deserved it (3243)
On 03/30/2011 at 1:28pm - misc - by Alisha (woman) - United Kingdom (Stirling)
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28686) - you deserved it (4371)
On 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by -_- - United States (Florida)
Today, I dropped my blackberry, but thanks to the protective gel case that I just purchased for it... it bounced and fell right into a sidewalk drainage sewer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33568) - you deserved it (3883)
On 03/28/2011 at 2:48pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I decided to have dinner with three friends to forget about the painful break up with my boyfriend. The first friend announced that she and her boyfriend had just bought a house, the second one that he was no longer single, and the third one revealed that she was pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28592) - you deserved it (3403)
On 03/26/2011 at 9:19pm - love - by marie12 (woman) - Belgium (Brabant)
Monday 20 May 2013
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