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sea0863

Offline (the 12/09/2014 at 5:51am) | Search for a member

sea0863

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  • Number of visits : 1735
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sea0863's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

sea0863's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
528 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20314) - you deserved it (52365)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

#17072330
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31370) - you deserved it (2871)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 16 year-old daughter tried to convince me that tampons don't actually work, all because she can still pee with one in. FML

#17069716
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31950) - you deserved it (5183)

On 07/11/2011 at 6:23pm - misc - by Username - United States (Washington)

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13310) - you deserved it (52257)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

#17001302
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8515) - you deserved it (72004)

On 07/06/2011 at 2:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

#16997621
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7678) - you deserved it (110423)

On 07/06/2011 at 5:17am - health - by Fmylife (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML

#16982648
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11048) - you deserved it (56952)

On 07/05/2011 at 3:06am - love - by eatmywords (man) - Singapore

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

#16867812
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9844) - you deserved it (24434)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm - kids - by Mommy - United States (Oregon)

Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML

#16867532
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13955) - you deserved it (46569)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the only person I actually spoke with was a prank caller. I tried to have a conversation with him, but he hung up on me. FML

#16761354
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27581) - you deserved it (7261)

On 06/20/2011 at 10:59am - misc - by m2k (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my wife isn't cheating. She says she's just getting older and sex isn't important anymore. She's 27. FML

#16758586
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43123) - you deserved it (4636)

On 06/20/2011 at 3:43am - intimacy - by wtf - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML

#16758524
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14766) - you deserved it (35406)

On 06/20/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by NewTenant (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I purchased an app to track my period. When my mother asked me why I got it, I told her I was going to use it so I knew when to not go on a date because I don't want to be uncomfortable during a long movie. She slapped me in the face and called me a dirty prostitute and a liar. FML

#16752428
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45130) - you deserved it (8474)

On 06/19/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by stillAvirgin:( - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML

#16659246
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13970) - you deserved it (35800)

On 06/14/2011 at 10:23am - work - by patrickalamo - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML

#16548173
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38686) - you deserved it (10479)

On 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Punk (man) - United States



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