This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28872) - you deserved it (8537)
On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9511) - you deserved it (15079)
On 08/14/2011 at 4:17am - animals - by romea244 - United States (Puerto Rico)
Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9511) - you deserved it (15079)
On 08/14/2011 at 4:17am - animals - by romea244 - United States (Puerto Rico)
Today, I spent $500 buying my lost cat back from a jerk who thought it was his. I get home and my mom tells me that she'd sold it to the same guy for $10 because she thought the cat was ruining my love life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29079) - you deserved it (5181)
On 08/14/2011 at 3:16am - money - by Username - United States
Today, I slipped on a plastic bag that my mom, the hoarder, was keeping on the stairs. I fell and sprained my ankle, getting rug burn in the process. Her response? Getting mad at me, putting the bag back on the stairs, then getting another to add to the pile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22217) - you deserved it (1969)
On 08/14/2011 at 12:36am - health - by MomLovesMeLessThanTrash - United States (California)
Today, while on the roof of my friend's house, I took a shortcut down by jumping onto the roof of his nearby shed. Not only did I go right through it and hurt my arm, I've also received several calls from my friend's dad, demanding I pay for the damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4806) - you deserved it (40932)
Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22822) - you deserved it (2932)
On 08/08/2011 at 10:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after being recently laid off at work due to "cutbacks", I went job searching around town. During my drive, I cruised past my old workplace and saw a "now hiring" sign in their window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27666) - you deserved it (3234)
On 07/28/2011 at 6:25pm - work - by jellymoon14 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25872) - you deserved it (1906)
On 07/28/2011 at 4:37pm - health - by shroooms (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
Today, I saw my picture in an architecture magazine. I'm not an architect. I was walking up a flight of "magnificently built" stairs as my skirt lifted to show an absence of underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15026) - you deserved it (25068)
On 07/26/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by crotchshothottie - United States
Today, I was sleeping like a baby on our living room couch. My older brother and his friends lit my slippers on fire. While I was wearing them. They even took a video. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25809) - you deserved it (2669)
On 07/26/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Ep1cF4ce - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28395) - you deserved it (4962)
On 07/25/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Ima_Moronski - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I fell asleep while watching an action movie. My newly installed surround sound system scared me so bad that I fell off the couch and smashed my face on our coffee table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18990) - you deserved it (8344)
On 07/19/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by nataliepaige - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29166) - you deserved it (2877)
On 07/19/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by tLee - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27471) - you deserved it (8573)
On 07/18/2011 at 8:36pm - kids - by stargirl - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
