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sea0863

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sea0863

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Honolulu, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 November 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2496
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sea0863's page activity

Visits<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 1:43am<b>hockey_kid23</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 8:24am

sea0863's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of sea0863's badges

sea0863's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35184) - you deserved it (3299)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

#17625902
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34837) - you deserved it (3746)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML

#17621188
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24691) - you deserved it (12358)

On 08/30/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML

#17615072
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38693) - you deserved it (3718)

On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

#17613922
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32049) - you deserved it (9328)

On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML

#17612364
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32516) - you deserved it (6018)

On 08/29/2011 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by bobin - United States

Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML

#17603044
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15562) - you deserved it (41292)

On 08/28/2011 at 7:29am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML

#17597730
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32717) - you deserved it (2878)

On 08/27/2011 at 6:59pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML

#17549982
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30281) - you deserved it (4191)

On 08/22/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by WTFwhywouldyoudothat - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, my 4 year old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML

#17528012
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34023) - you deserved it (8431)

On 08/20/2011 at 10:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

#17507228
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11329) - you deserved it (37679)

On 08/18/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

#17502057
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42551) - you deserved it (3106)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML

#17498648
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13602) - you deserved it (35776)

On 08/17/2011 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

#17497586
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28175) - you deserved it (12156)

On 08/17/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by aprilfools22 - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML

#17489385
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28633) - you deserved it (10838)

On 08/16/2011 at 11:00am - misc - by bursteardrums (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)



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