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sea0863

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sea0863

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  • Number of visits : 1547
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sea0863's favorite FMLs

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32951) - you deserved it (2846)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36804) - you deserved it (3460)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34370) - you deserved it (9557)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML

#17467525
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12094) - you deserved it (22749)

On 08/14/2011 at 4:17am - animals - by romea244 - United States (Puerto Rico)

Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML

#17467525
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12094) - you deserved it (22749)

On 08/14/2011 at 4:17am - animals - by romea244 - United States (Puerto Rico)

Today, I spent $500 buying my lost cat back from a jerk who thought it was his. I get home and my mom tells me that she'd sold it to the same guy for $10 because she thought the cat was ruining my love life. FML

#17467108
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34841) - you deserved it (5790)

On 08/14/2011 at 3:16am - money - by Username - United States

Today, I slipped on a plastic bag that my mom, the hoarder, was keeping on the stairs. I fell and sprained my ankle, getting rug burn in the process. Her response? Getting mad at me, putting the bag back on the stairs, then getting another to add to the pile. FML

#17465533
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26822) - you deserved it (2297)

On 08/14/2011 at 12:36am - health - by MomLovesMeLessThanTrash - United States (California)

Today, while on the roof of my friend's house, I took a shortcut down by jumping onto the roof of his nearby shed. Not only did I go right through it and hurt my arm, I've also received several calls from my friend's dad, demanding I pay for the damage. FML

#17464270
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6201) - you deserved it (47410)

On 08/13/2011 at 10:41pm - health - by IronFoot - Canada

Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML

#17406158
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28137) - you deserved it (3909)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after being recently laid off at work due to "cutbacks", I went job searching around town. During my drive, I cruised past my old workplace and saw a "now hiring" sign in their window. FML

#17289297
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32533) - you deserved it (3591)

On 07/28/2011 at 6:25pm - work - by jellymoon14 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

#17288332
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31213) - you deserved it (2645)

On 07/28/2011 at 4:37pm - health - by shroooms (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I saw my picture in an architecture magazine. I'm not an architect. I was walking up a flight of "magnificently built" stairs as my skirt lifted to show an absence of underwear. FML

#17267205
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18217) - you deserved it (34234)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by crotchshothottie - United States

Today, I was sleeping like a baby on our living room couch. My older brother and his friends lit my slippers on fire. While I was wearing them. They even took a video. FML

#17261377
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30611) - you deserved it (3022)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Ep1cF4ce - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML

#17260985
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33705) - you deserved it (6457)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Ima_Moronski - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I fell asleep while watching an action movie. My newly installed surround sound system scared me so bad that I fell off the couch and smashed my face on our coffee table. FML

#17171472
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23772) - you deserved it (10969)

On 07/19/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by nataliepaige - Canada (Ontario)



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