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Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20226) - you deserved it (1159)
On 09/16/2011 at 12:20pm - work - by Help - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12726) - you deserved it (27011)
On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25215) - you deserved it (1751)
On 09/09/2011 at 9:57pm - kids - by why?! (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29256) - you deserved it (5422) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29256) - you deserved it (5422) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I went to Walmart with my Dad, and he decided to kick me in the butt while I was walking. When I went to kick him back, I hit my own leg out from beneath myself and landed on my face. The most embarrassing thing was that the people who saw all started clapping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15463) - you deserved it (8610)
On 09/09/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Krystyn Gareau - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23376) - you deserved it (2120)
On 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm - kids - by thatoneguy - United States (Texas)
Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26794) - you deserved it (2262)
Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35452) - you deserved it (2966)
On 09/03/2011 at 12:48am - intimacy - by BlootheBawss - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24196) - you deserved it (16133)
On 09/02/2011 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24196) - you deserved it (16133)
On 09/02/2011 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25027) - you deserved it (2203)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)
Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24133) - you deserved it (2352)
On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16165) - you deserved it (8363)
On 08/30/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28139) - you deserved it (2449)
On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Monday 20 May 2013
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