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sea0863

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sea0863

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Honolulu, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 November 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2502
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sea0863's page activity

Visits<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 1:43am<b>hockey_kid23</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 8:24am

sea0863's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of sea0863's badges

sea0863's favorite FMLs

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

#19277345
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11948) - you deserved it (34891)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38845) - you deserved it (13364)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

#18812557
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37162) - you deserved it (4150)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47311) - you deserved it (4840)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70966) - you deserved it (3487)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

#18752825
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34951) - you deserved it (7578)

On 01/09/2012 at 12:01am - intimacy - by LaLa - United States (Louisiana)

Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML

#18751726
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31455) - you deserved it (3248)

On 01/08/2012 at 10:43pm - love - by shades (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML

#18750277
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12260) - you deserved it (35096)

On 01/08/2012 at 8:51pm - love - by Tiana - United States

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22574) - you deserved it (42576)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I finished a very important but annoying presentation that took four hours to complete. Only after writing a paragraph to explain the presentation and sending it to my boss did I realize that I saved the document as "Shit I have to do to get a promotion." FML

#18231005
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12159) - you deserved it (42686)

On 11/12/2011 at 7:36pm - work - by TTR (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9984) - you deserved it (118967)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML

#17992894
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8557) - you deserved it (67261)

On 10/15/2011 at 8:47pm - misc - by mass message (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

#17911621
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28900) - you deserved it (21611)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Beeisc00l - Reserved

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

#17906295
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40115) - you deserved it (12080)

On 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML

#17903421
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37786) - you deserved it (4069)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)



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