Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (yesterday at 10:58am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Honolulu, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 November 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2242
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

sea0863's page activity

Visits<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 1:43am<b>hockey_kid23</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 8:24am

sea0863's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of sea0863's badges

sea0863's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving on the freeway and there was a dead animal (I think a cat) in the road. The car in front of me decided to merge over. It kicked up part of the dead animal and sent it flying through my open window. I think I got hit in the face with a piece of foot. FML


Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML


I agree, your life sucks (86822) - you deserved it (5988)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML


I agree, your life sucks (97262) - you deserved it (6997)

On 06/28/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by steven (man) - Cayman Islands

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML


I agree, your life sucks (85084) - you deserved it (5892)

On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35921) - you deserved it (321274)

On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while laying out, I kept feeling something misty, like a spray bottle. Curious as to what it was since it kept coming, I looked up, only to see the painters were peeing over the side of the house, and the heavy breeze was turning their piss into a refreshing mist for me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60881) - you deserved it (3828)

On 06/05/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by layout (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was with my 14 year old son when we saw a baby sparrow being attacked by four or five blackbirds. We rushed up, waving our arms and scared away the much bigger attackers. The baby sparrow ran toward us for protection, then went past both of us and ran straight down a storm sewer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52148) - you deserved it (4225)

On 06/05/2009 at 12:56pm - misc - by Pierce (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML


I agree, your life sucks (91050) - you deserved it (238380)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39440) - you deserved it (273453)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40599) - you deserved it (331506)

On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (753342) - you deserved it (61777)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22582) - you deserved it (272553)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML


G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: