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sea0863

Offline (the 01/14/2016 at 4:18am) | Search for a member

sea0863

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Honolulu, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 November 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2484
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sea0863's page activity

Visits<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 1:43am<b>hockey_kid23</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 8:24am

sea0863's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of sea0863's badges

sea0863's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML

#21470947
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27755) - you deserved it (2969)

On 09/21/2015 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, it was my dad's retirement. He is traditional Japanese, so I had custom-ordered a samurai sword from a traditional Japanese blacksmith with dad's name engraved on the blade in kanji script. He loved it, right up til my drunk cousin tried to use it to cut down a tree and snapped it in two. FML

#21469447
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27875) - you deserved it (1525)

On 09/17/2015 at 7:13am - misc - by Ryoichi (man) - Germany

Today, a pervert was visibly playing with himself right next to me on the train. Then on the bus. Then on the other bus I changed to in order to lose him. At least somebody's interested. FML

#21468388
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28234) - you deserved it (2190)

On 09/14/2015 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by annabellatrix (woman) - Hungary

Today, while blissfully unaware that it was the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, I was making paper airplanes during my free period in school. Next thing I know, I was reported for, "making jokes about the 9/11 attacks." FML

#21467190
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25716) - you deserved it (8368)

On 09/11/2015 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML

#21459115
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26216) - you deserved it (3761)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:59pm - love - by cuckoo (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I dislocated my toe while putting on my socks. FML

#21384619
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30419) - you deserved it (5161)

On 03/31/2015 at 6:54am - health - by billy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53210) - you deserved it (4095)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46731) - you deserved it (29807)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was babysitting my 4-year-old cousin. She scraped her knee, and in an attempt to cheer her up, I put a refrigerator box over my head and waddled around like a penguin. She stopped crying, but only after I fell down a flight of tile stairs. FML

Today, I was wearing a letterman jacket that had my school name and "Okinawa Japan" on the back. A high school kid walks up to me and says, "I can't forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor." I'm black. FML

#20938215
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45442) - you deserved it (3984)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:31pm - misc - by The_FN_Gunny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I sneezed my jaw out of socket. Yes, this is possible. FML

#19899616
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32191) - you deserved it (2089)

On 07/06/2012 at 11:03am - misc - by hotpatata - United States

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

#19726729
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8371) - you deserved it (33047)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Castilla y Leon)

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

#19627607
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23399) - you deserved it (3089)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:27pm - health - by rhya4n (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

#19277345
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11922) - you deserved it (34839)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38785) - you deserved it (13350)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States



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