Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sdroze1389

Offline (the 12/11/2015 at 3:08am) | Search for a member

sdroze1389

71Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 January 1989 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3694
  • Number of comments : 504
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About sdroze1389 : I need adult friends but I may have come to the wrong place. I'm a total fucking weirdo. I'm a hybrid of a lonley cat lady and a self proclaimed intellectual, not the pompous kind mind you. I waste most of my time reading, writing, or trying to make people feel socially uncomfortable to gauge reactions in their body language. since I like food I also like to cook, but I'm way to lazy to cook usually do I also know my way around a microwave. I've seen almost every major punk, ska, and rap show to come through my area. I also religiously follow three sports. take a guess at them and hit me up of you're bored.

sdroze1389's page activity

Visits<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 12:57pm<b>hmiller2337</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 10:16pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 3:38am<b>ShadowStarEXE</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 3:14pm<b>CravenCat</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 8:07pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 5:02pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 6:47pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 7:52am<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 11:43pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 8:45pm<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 7:43am<b>C00kiesNcream</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 9:49pm<b>neonglostix</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 9:09am<b>riyaap13</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 4:06pm<b>Idekanymore123</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 3:13am<b>Galactic_lights</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 8:12pm<b>alexwagner21</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 5:01pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 3:22pm

Fucked!<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 11:02pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 12:48am<b>Galactic_lights</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 2:12am<b>bloodlusthatter</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 6:41am<b>1996sexy</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:05pm<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 2:46pm<b>Big_Bear99</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 6:18am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 8:58pm<b>afrostybird</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 2:39pm<b>lex1459</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:16am<b>apineapple</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 12:39am<b>SweetSociopathy</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:27am<b>ASeeR</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 8:21am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 4:19am<b>orangeshels</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 9:28am<b>rachelkoo</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 4:58pm<b>bekkylove22</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 1:05pm<b>dragonkisses28</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 3:51am

sdroze1389's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of sdroze1389's badges

sdroze1389's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I was caught picking my nose, on camera, in an elevator. The security guard stopped me on my way out of the building to tell me how funny it was. FML

#13644556
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9825) - you deserved it (29441)

On 10/30/2010 at 12:12am - work - by mortified (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42053) - you deserved it (8525)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39848) - you deserved it (22461)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is an active member of the suicide forum. He told me I should make an account too. FML

#13386499
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29972) - you deserved it (3129)

On 10/10/2010 at 12:33am - love - by lightblue - United States (California)

Today, my computer was hit by something bigger than a virus: a car. FML

#11264339
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36892) - you deserved it (4761)

On 06/17/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by katiebabby - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my 19 year old daughter is pregnant. The father is a toss up between my 45 year-old best friend, and the 30 year old guy who cleans our pool. FML

#11225858
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62225) - you deserved it (7627)

On 06/15/2010 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

#10667407
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50250) - you deserved it (14524)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

#9994288
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39902) - you deserved it (9519)

On 04/19/2010 at 4:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

#8861010
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10665) - you deserved it (30260)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML

#7542505
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68974) - you deserved it (6734)

On 01/24/2010 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went down to my grandparents' house to spend some time with them. I was in the guest room when I noticed a box in the corner of the closet labelled "Crap". I opened up the box to see my Dad's John Elway Autographed Football in it. I got it for him for Christmas, it cost me $600. FML

#7536957
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30987) - you deserved it (2735)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54620) - you deserved it (8451)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my crush of over a year came over for me to take her on our first date. Today was also the day my drunk parents decided to dance the chicken dance in our front yard, naked. FML

#7278276
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37471) - you deserved it (3087)

On 01/11/2010 at 1:12pm - love - by JK2010 (man) - Israel (Hefa)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: