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About sdroze1389 : I need adult friends but I may have come to the wrong place. I'm a total fucking weirdo. I'm a hybrid of a lonley cat lady and a self proclaimed intellectual, not the pompous kind mind you. I waste most of my time reading, writing, or trying to make people feel socially uncomfortable to gauge reactions in their body language. since I like food I also like to cook, I also like porn, but never together. unless I'm looking at food porn, you know those awesome coupons that come in the mail right when you're really broke and hungry at the same time. I also tend to be an alcoholic, not because I want to but more so because I need to. I've been miserably single for years by choice because I really don't like being close to people. I still like acquaintances though so msg me or get at me in the kik I have but never use. sd1389 don't smoke crack, unless you want to I guess but it doesn't seem worth it. what do I know though?
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML
Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML
Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML
Thursday 23 April 2015