About sdroze1389 : I need adult friends but I may have come to the wrong place. I'm a total fucking weirdo. I'm a hybrid of a lonley cat lady and a self proclaimed intellectual, not the pompous kind mind you. I waste most of my time reading, writing, or trying to make people feel socially uncomfortable to gauge reactions in their body language. since I like food I also like to cook, but I'm way to lazy to cook usually do I also know my way around a microwave. I've seen almost every major punk, ska, and rap show to come through my area. I also religiously follow three sports. take a guess at them and hit me up of you're bored.
sdroze1389's FML badges
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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sdroze1389's favorite FMLs
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
by maturity / 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 5:22am / United States (New York) / Kids
by soontobesingle / 03/19/2013 at 7:30am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML
by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous
by hopelessteej / 01/28/2013 at 8:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Tooyoungforthis / 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by ashbeat / 01/01/2013 at 10:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by why? / 01/01/2013 at 12:41am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Bliggins / 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love
Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML
by Squid / 11/07/2012 at 12:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 8:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML
by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 1:18am / United States (New Mexico) / Love