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sdroze1389

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sdroze1389

44Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 January 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2542
  • Number of comments : 482
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About sdroze1389 : I need adult friends but I may have come to the wrong place. I'm a total fucking weirdo. I'm a hybrid of a lonley cat lady and a self proclaimed intellectual, not the pompous kind mind you. I waste most of my time reading, writing, or trying to make people feel socially uncomfortable to gauge reactions in their body language. since I like food I also like to cook, I also like porn, but never together. unless I'm looking at food porn, you know those awesome coupons that come in the mail right when you're really broke and hungry at the same time. I also tend to be an alcoholic, not because I want to but more so because I need to. I've been miserably single for years by choice because I really don't like being close to people. I still like acquaintances though so msg me or get at me in the kik I have but never use. sd1389 don't smoke crack, unless you want to I guess but it doesn't seem worth it. what do I know though?

sdroze1389's page activity

Visits<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - 15 hours ago<b>kmaheynoway</b> - 17 hours ago<b>zanoty</b> - 18 hours ago<b>sarah5745</b> - 18 hours ago<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - yesterday at 5:09am<b>besosforme</b> - yesterday at 11:39pm<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - yesterday at 9:26pm<b>lumene</b> - yesterday at 8:45pm<b>Nadron</b> - yesterday at 8:44pm<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - yesterday at 7:56pm<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - yesterday at 7:38pm<b>emeraldisle</b> - yesterday at 7:24pm<b>lyricalservant</b> - yesterday at 6:46pm<b>irisr</b> - yesterday at 11:41am<b>alyssaamarante</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:12pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 9:38pm<b>Smeedz</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 8:08pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 6:52pm

Fucked!<b>sarah5745</b> - 17 hours ago<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - 23 hours ago<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - yesterday at 3:27am<b>kmaheynoway</b> - yesterday at 2:20am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 3:50pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 2:32pm<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 1:43am<b>skye147</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 8:33pm<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 7:17am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 9:34pm<b>FearlessDefender</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 6:13am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 11:41am<b>dakotadavisbruh</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:02am<b>Kataclysm97</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 12:54am<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:10pm<b>sturschaedel</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 5:05pm<b>Miss_Klutzie</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 3:53pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 11:02pm

sdroze1389's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of sdroze1389's badges

sdroze1389's favorite FMLs

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56241) - you deserved it (4376)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

#20579781
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15526) - you deserved it (59929)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32691) - you deserved it (5283)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML

#20550555
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45721) - you deserved it (4610)

On 03/19/2013 at 7:30am - intimacy - by soontobesingle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28661) - you deserved it (6010)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30250) - you deserved it (3753)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

#20441386
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28065) - you deserved it (1988)

On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52690) - you deserved it (3983)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML

#20435279
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26998) - you deserved it (2058)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by why? - United States (New Jersey)

Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

#20181869
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38834) - you deserved it (2444)

On 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm - love - by Bliggins - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19847) - you deserved it (6400)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML

#20142730
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19959) - you deserved it (1647)

On 11/01/2012 at 9:52am - work - by tmi. - Australia

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML

#20118571
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26693) - you deserved it (1749)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML

#20095768
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15923) - you deserved it (3079)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25621) - you deserved it (3414)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)



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