Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sdroze1389

Offline (the 08/14/2015 at 8:15am) | Search for a member

sdroze1389

68Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 January 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3076
  • Number of comments : 504
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About sdroze1389 : I need adult friends but I may have come to the wrong place. I'm a total fucking weirdo. I'm a hybrid of a lonley cat lady and a self proclaimed intellectual, not the pompous kind mind you. I waste most of my time reading, writing, or trying to make people feel socially uncomfortable to gauge reactions in their body language. since I like food I also like to cook, but I'm way to lazy to cook usually do I also know my way around a microwave. I've seen almost every major punk, ska, and rap show to come through my area. I also religiously follow three sports. take a guess at them and hit me up of you're bored.

sdroze1389's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:18am<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 4:08pm<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 11:50pm<b>tamannab97</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 7:10pm<b>rareawesomeness</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 2:27am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 12:10am<b>clapdatassidy</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 12:38am<b>jarnalps</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 10:18am<b>xbaby_bananax</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 5:37pm<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 10:38pm<b>kittina</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 9:40am<b>balnuaimi</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 1:47am<b>melpaintbrush</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 8:13pm<b>LostInSunday</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 2:28am<b>bloodlusthatter</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:59pm<b>1996sexy</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:23am<b>validatethis</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 10:18pm<b>moo_mima_moo</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 4:38am

Fucked!<b>bloodlusthatter</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 6:41am<b>1996sexy</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:05pm<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 2:46pm<b>Big_Bear99</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 6:18am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 8:58pm<b>afrostybird</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 2:39pm<b>lex1459</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:16am<b>apineapple</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 12:39am<b>SweetSociopathy</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:27am<b>ASeeR</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 8:21am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 4:19am<b>orangeshels</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 9:28am<b>rachelkoo</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 4:58pm<b>bekkylove22</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 1:05pm<b>dragonkisses28</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 3:51am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 12:41pm<b>bosfk</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:46pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:56am

sdroze1389's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of sdroze1389's badges

sdroze1389's favorite FMLs

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58397) - you deserved it (4544)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

#20579781
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15911) - you deserved it (61156)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34843) - you deserved it (5550)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML

#20550555
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46998) - you deserved it (4739)

On 03/19/2013 at 7:30am - intimacy - by soontobesingle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31062) - you deserved it (6332)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31591) - you deserved it (3848)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

#20441386
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29279) - you deserved it (2074)

On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54616) - you deserved it (4153)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML

#20435279
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28628) - you deserved it (2198)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by why? - United States (New Jersey)

Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

#20181869
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41352) - you deserved it (2656)

On 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm - love - by Bliggins - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22363) - you deserved it (6907)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML

#20142730
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20703) - you deserved it (1714)

On 11/01/2012 at 9:52am - work - by tmi. - Australia

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML

#20118571
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27649) - you deserved it (1822)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML

#20095768
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15991) - you deserved it (3089)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26181) - you deserved it (3464)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: