Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sdroze1389

Online | Search for a member

sdroze1389

12Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 December 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2042
  • Number of comments : 444
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About sdroze1389 : total fucking weirdo. I'm a hybrid of a lonley cat lady and a self proclaimed intellectual, not the pompous kind mind you. I waste most of my time reading, writing, or trying to make people feel socially uncomfortable to gauge reactions in their body language. since I like food I also like to cook, I also like porn, but never together. unless I'm looking at food porn, you know those awesome coupons that come in the mail right when you're really broke and hungry at the same time. I also tend to be an alcoholic, not because I want to but more so because I need to. I've been miserably single for years by choice because I really don't like being close to people. I still like acquaintances though so msg me or get at me in the kik I have but never use. don't smoke crack, unless you want to I guess but it doesn't seem worth it. what do I know though?

sdroze1389's page activity

Visits<b>saraitkddh</b> - 7 hours ago<b>MsFML_</b> - 18 hours ago<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - yesterday at 4:54am<b>Geary519</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:31am<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 6:09am<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 2:45am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 5:54pm<b>ChampHero</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 9:47am<b>theflyingellis</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 9:42am<b>arasx0</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 5:48pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 6:52am<b>OneDayDown</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:48am<b>DaggNabbit</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 10:22am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 4:35pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 1:39pm<b>seemo82</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 3:48am<b>Puffpie</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 1:57am<b>Mafioso97</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 7:48pm

Liked!<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 8:45am<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 4:23am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 4:25am<b>Stefanie88</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 7:55am<b>kirbs19</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 9:36am<b>Threnody666</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 3:28am<b>Chelserser</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 4:47am<b>Ed1998</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 7:36am<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 1:36am<b>T_Young96</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 12:40am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 2:48pm<b>itsmecutiepie</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 9:32am

sdroze1389's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of sdroze1389's badges

sdroze1389's favorite FMLs

Today, my psychotic grandma set fire to our Christmas tree because she refuses to let us celebrate what she calls a twisted pagan holiday. FML

#20992504
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38273) - you deserved it (3574)

On 12/14/2013 at 5:05pm - misc - by take a fucking seat, gran (man) - United States (California)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

#20992325
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50172) - you deserved it (9255)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

#20986479
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57052) - you deserved it (4851)

On 12/09/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by igotpride - United States

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
204 comments

Today, I reduced my psychologist to tears. FML

#20976567
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42118) - you deserved it (3928)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44433) - you deserved it (3352)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Snapchat. FML

#20891755
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43105) - you deserved it (3739)

On 09/22/2013 at 4:41pm - misc - by mish (woman) - United Kingdom (Herefordshire)

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

#20807393
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40924) - you deserved it (27596)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

#20730822
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49015) - you deserved it (10206)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML

#20698103
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49007) - you deserved it (5653)

On 05/31/2013 at 8:50pm - money - by speechless (man) - United Kingdom (Wirral)

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

#20692945
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46734) - you deserved it (3461)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56140) - you deserved it (4374)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

#20579781
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14803) - you deserved it (58029)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32610) - you deserved it (5278)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: