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scrrwd

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scrrwd
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  • Number of visits : 197
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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scrrwd's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML

#20519879
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37468) - you deserved it (2420)

On 02/24/2013 at 6:17am - animals - by incendiaaa (woman) - Australia

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML

#20507523
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36257) - you deserved it (8100)

On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

#20495499
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39911) - you deserved it (3731)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44884) - you deserved it (3352) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

#20473479
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36006) - you deserved it (2249)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

#20472773
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26384) - you deserved it (2316)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

#20467584
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43824) - you deserved it (7002)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31831) - you deserved it (3397)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (2355)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28099) - you deserved it (1782)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46774) - you deserved it (3487)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

#20426492
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49370) - you deserved it (6800)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

#20406767
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26313) - you deserved it (3280)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:16am - health - by Igor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

#20402473
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25857) - you deserved it (3280)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)



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