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Offline (the 07/31/2016 at 5:00pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 May 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 579
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About screwingcollege : Living a Fucked up life...what more do you need to know!?

screwingcollege's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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screwingcollege's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML

by horp / 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I had an argument with my boyfriend who was accusing me of only being in a relationship with him because I'd fantasised about being with an Asian. When I told him he was wrong, he asked me what attracted me to him in the first place. "Your eyes" was definitely the wrong answer. FML

by Anonyme / 09/02/2015 at 12:21am / Love

Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML

by alliez108 / 11/17/2011 at 7:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML

by Chubby / 11/17/2011 at 11:50am / United States / Work

Today, I bought weed for the first time. The dealer was an undercover cop. FML

by honeybadger123 / 11/13/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2011 at 3:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered my sister has a crystal meth problem when she set fire to our house. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2011 at 11:11pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek at school. I missed, and walked away awkwardly. Later on, a teacher stopped me and told me how bad I failed. FML

by fmlifer / 11/04/2011 at 12:29am / United States (California) / Love

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

by EunJung / 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm / United States / Work

Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML

by VladyBoi / 10/31/2011 at 8:18pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

by yum yogurt / 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 4:38am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

by Deborah / 10/27/2011 at 2:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm / United States / Work

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML

by KaySchrages92 / 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous