screwUpNr1

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screwUpNr1

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits :
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About screwUpNr1 : ✌️hey just chillin in Norway (litterally) I'm just a unormal girl with some normal habits :P feel free to chat, if ya got time :)

screwUpNr1's page activity

Visits<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 10:54pm<b>cgart96</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 2:47pm<b>Llamanator9913</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 1:48am<b>schneids638</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 4:03pm<b>the_undead</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 4:32pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 10:09pm<b>Internetdude</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 6:17pm<b>Chaith</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 2:29pm<b>Mike09220</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 6:34pm<b>tallwhiteguy96</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 11:09am<b>DoubleDie7</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 8:07pm<b>carl_CIOwhat</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 4:10pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 11:57pm<b>every1lovesLinzy</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 11:57pm<b>Calaraphea</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 9:20pm<b>rob02</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 8:54pm<b>olpally</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 8:53pm<b>ElNeqriito</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 6:45am

screwUpNr1's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of screwUpNr1's badges

screwUpNr1's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML

by anon / 12/02/2013 at 11:26pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML

by anon / 12/02/2013 at 11:26pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML

by anon / 12/02/2013 at 11:26pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

by Oh-Shit! / 08/10/2013 at 11:23am / United States / Health

Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

by Myballshurt / 08/03/2013 at 12:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML

by shaviTuT / 02/07/2013 at 2:44pm / Malaysia (Johor) / Animals

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

by Squid / 11/07/2012 at 12:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML

by daddydaughterWTF / 08/01/2012 at 8:06pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML

by anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 10:54am / China (Jiangsu) / Health

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

by ww2freak / 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while waiting tables, I watched a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then called me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy because they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML

by craigtm029429 / 03/01/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML

by sharpie2792 / 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML

by iliterallypoopedmyself / 01/18/2012 at 8:54pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

by thankzbabe / 01/04/2012 at 7:32am / United States / Intimacy