Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

screamtobeheard

Offline (the 02/08/2014 at 6:04pm) | Search for a member

screamtobeheard

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 241
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About screamtobeheard : I'm an artist, therefore I'm here to make you feel something.
Also, John 1:17.

screamtobeheard's page activity

Visits<b>AGB10</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 12:54am<b>KaylaRox1908</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:06am<b>starbarbazar</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:12pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 5:55pm<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:50pm<b>gotaplanstan</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 2:42pm<b>DrummerWS</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 1:17pm<b>JD1147</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 7:08am<b>TallyFtw69</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 7:57am<b>sybyabraham</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 8:26pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 8:34am<b>hawk2099</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 2:39pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 8:02am<b>trex83</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 7:18am<b>Chokobolt</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 6:37am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 3:38am<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 2:59am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 6:52pm

screamtobeheard's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of screamtobeheard's badges

screamtobeheard's favorite FMLs

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

#21183414
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42179) - you deserved it (5615)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was really hungry at work, and my stomach growled loudly. One of my co-workers heard it and thought it was a cat. Ashamed, I played dumb and we ended up spending twenty minutes looking for a cat that I knew didn't exist. FML

#21170120
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40044) - you deserved it (17467)

On 06/10/2014 at 9:01pm - animals - by imalosertho (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45023) - you deserved it (8457)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML

#21149493
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43724) - you deserved it (5015)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by fucking hell my eyes burn (man) - Germany

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

#21139954
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44110) - you deserved it (6509)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML

#21122867
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49750) - you deserved it (9950)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I wanted to eat my last bowl of sugary cereal before starting my new diet. I fell down the stairs with the full bowl in hand. Message received, universe. FML

#21097759
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37842) - you deserved it (7362)

On 03/27/2014 at 2:10pm - health - by bonbon789 - United States

Today, no matter how many toys and teddies she has, and no matter how much I punish her, I am most likely never going to be able to break my 10-week-old puppy's habit of stealing my underwear. She doesn't eat them or even chew on them. She steals them to sleep with. FML

#21096727
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37569) - you deserved it (5046)

On 03/26/2014 at 4:45am - animals - by Punphmelch (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, the clock in the study lounge was off, so I was half-an-hour late to class. I was too embarrassed to walk in late, so I sat for the next half-hour with my ear against the door trying to hear the lecture. People stopped to ask if there was something wrong with me. Yeah, probably. FML

#21096550
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35014) - you deserved it (10364)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:31pm - work - by SocialAnxietySucks (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

#21093737
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34504) - you deserved it (11936)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML

#21092620
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34324) - you deserved it (7141)

On 03/21/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by richard (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, for the third time this week, a random person in the street walked up to me and told me how much I look like Grumpy Cat. FML

#21091998
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35491) - you deserved it (4983)

On 03/20/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by no (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

#21091449
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43316) - you deserved it (9394)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States

Today, I had to explain to my neighbours that I wasn't "watching porn" earlier, and that I was honestly just watching an episode of Game of Thrones. FML



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: