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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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scorpioserpent

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scorpioserpent
  • Town/Country : Seattle, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 October 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 83633
  • Number of comments : 162
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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scorpioserpent's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in one of two hot tubs with my dad at a vacation resort, when 3 good looking guys walked into the pool area. My dad moved to the other hot tub so the guys could hang out in the one I was in. They came outside, passed my hot tub, and went into the one my dad just moved into. FML

#7426309 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (20120) - you deserved it (2802)

On 01/18/2010 at 9:06pm - love - by pictureperfect678 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

#7295909 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (7553) - you deserved it (24905)

On 01/12/2010 at 5:26am - love - by awkward23 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

#5292418 (380)

I agree, your life sucks (15358) - you deserved it (68089)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time. She greeted us holding a baby, and I told her how cute her son was. She told me that it was her grandson. Turns out my boyfriend is the father. We're 16. FML

#5106151 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (42758) - you deserved it (2736)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Notyourstepmom - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML

#4495207 (322)

I agree, your life sucks (16982) - you deserved it (37185)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was 'A man running'. I didn't even get an apology. FML

#4196733 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (46801) - you deserved it (1519)

On 08/01/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

#4029321 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (36255) - you deserved it (19554)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, I was at the movies. All of a sudden, the woman next to me starts laughing uncontrollably and talking to her friend during the movie. This continued throughout the movie, ruining it. I turned and whispered to my friend. The woman then taps me on the shoulder and yells, "Shut the fuck up!" FML

#4028103 (263)

I agree, your life sucks (48714) - you deserved it (2916)

On 07/25/2009 at 11:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was fired from my volunteer job. Why? Because they said I was working so hard and doing such a good job that I was making the real staff look bad. FML

#3506219 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (48358) - you deserved it (2481)

On 07/05/2009 at 3:04pm - work - by WorkingGirl (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

#3268493 (298)

I agree, your life sucks (88391) - you deserved it (5293)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML

#2405054 (256)

I agree, your life sucks (41661) - you deserved it (6002)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friend Kate and I were helping build a playground. Halfway through, a construction worker asks where we go to school. I told him we graduated and proudly held degrees in psych. The construction worker stopped mid-dig, glanced at us sadly and said, "yeah that's what my degree's in too." FML

#2001814 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (38984) - you deserved it (5725)

On 05/17/2009 at 12:20am - work - by blairheir721 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a hour long conversation with someone I apparently was friends with a few years ago. I couldn't remember who he was for the life of me, so I just played along. Finally, I told him I didn't remember him. He had the wrong number. I had a long conversation with a wrong number. FML

#1833844 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (10756) - you deserved it (34501)

On 05/11/2009 at 12:46am - misc - by lostintellct (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my mom asked if I wanted to come to dinner with my parents and my grandparents who are in from London. When we got to the restaurant, there was a wait. My mom made me walk home because they could get a table quicker for a group of four than a group of five. FML

#1792856 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (52563) - you deserved it (1620)

On 05/09/2009 at 9:48pm - misc - by charlie (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my roommate and I were walking to a bar and a group of guys shouted out at us "Hey, it's like we're on Animal Planet, I see a zebra and a gorilla." My roommate was wearing a zebra print shirt. FML

#1773793 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (41110) - you deserved it (3263)

On 05/09/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)