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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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scorpiella

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scorpiella
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1239
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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scorpiella's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML

#15205288 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (41634) - you deserved it (3254) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/05/2011 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous - France (Alsace)

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

#15205063 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (28269) - you deserved it (1883)

On 03/05/2011 at 5:15am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018 (264)

I agree, your life sucks (31071) - you deserved it (10652)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML

#12294723 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (6619) - you deserved it (78154)

On 08/03/2010 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Emily (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML

#12201100 (349)

I agree, your life sucks (29933) - you deserved it (6929)

On 07/30/2010 at 2:45am - intimacy - by hairless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was looking through my boyfriends phone, when I found a naked picture of myself. Too bad I haven't sent him any. Ever. FML

#12187876 (280)

I agree, your life sucks (26775) - you deserved it (9737)

On 07/29/2010 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Sunshine.0.ninja - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML

#12161985 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (17391) - you deserved it (19822)

On 07/28/2010 at 7:20am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730 (331)

I agree, your life sucks (19320) - you deserved it (35303)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390 (386)

I agree, your life sucks (10478) - you deserved it (38978)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML

#7967953 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (23967) - you deserved it (2305)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:18am - work - by Ryan - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was racing some mates to the beach and I decided to take a short-cut by jumping over a low wall. I didn't realise the wall was to stop people falling into the stormwater drain. Which is 3 metres deep. And has razor-sharp oysters growing at the bottom. FML

#7965104 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (11093) - you deserved it (22760)

On 02/07/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by KiwiBlam (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML

#7936537 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (31747) - you deserved it (1332)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:22pm - misc - by Kelso (woman) - United States

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

#7932396 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (17388) - you deserved it (9060)

On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML

#7907702 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (8735) - you deserved it (23725)

On 02/05/2010 at 3:17pm - love - by topfisherman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "that's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "push a little harder" while disecting a frog. FML

#7894652 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (19942) - you deserved it (749)

On 02/05/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by eemp - Sent from mobile version