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schuhbacca

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schuhbacca

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  • Number of visits : 536
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schuhbacca's page activity

Visits<b>elk21dbm</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 11:29pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 7:26am

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schuhbacca's favorite FMLs

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

#17906295
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36046) - you deserved it (10937)

On 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

#17880810
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39319) - you deserved it (5064)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Patricia - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML

#17838831
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36881) - you deserved it (6951)

On 09/26/2011 at 11:35am - intimacy - by Oops (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, desperate for my boyfriend to notice me for once, I started noisily masturbating while he was playing World of Warcraft. His response was to put his headphones on. FML

#17811635
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38191) - you deserved it (11322)

On 09/23/2011 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54786) - you deserved it (5405)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9 inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML

#17694552
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23776) - you deserved it (2123)

On 09/08/2011 at 2:34am - intimacy - by grossedout (woman) - Reserved

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

#17688076
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25052) - you deserved it (6895)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by thismakesmesad (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML

#17685496
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30211) - you deserved it (4795)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Nublet (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML

#17677106
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31310) - you deserved it (6343)

On 09/06/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by foreseeingabreakup (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend bitched me out for being too controlling. Apparently, not only am I being unreasonable by not wanting him visiting strip clubs with his friends, I'm also just "looking for excuses to get mad" at him. FML

#17661200
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26896) - you deserved it (15966)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:40pm - love - by inlovewithstupid (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

#17661103
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47545) - you deserved it (5697)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35905) - you deserved it (9397)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

#17657733
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38904) - you deserved it (5608)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by May - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

#17649576
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35592) - you deserved it (3379)

On 09/03/2011 at 12:48am - love - by CHStennis_4 - United States (Utah)

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

#17643019
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31451) - you deserved it (3748)

On 09/02/2011 at 8:47am - intimacy - by rochellamaya - Canada (Alberta)



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