Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
This member hasn't filled in the description.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
Today, on way home, grlfriend startd sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at house. In rush to get home to see her, I got pulld over and had to be pattd down. He found no weapons, but he did fine stiffy. FML
Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time!! Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand an spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9 inch "drill bit." I have to try an fine this guy a job!! FML
Today, mah boyfriend bitched me out for being too controlling. Apparently, not only am I looool being unreasonable by not wanting him visiting strip clubs with his friends, I'm also just ( looking for excuses to get mad ) at him. FML
Today I finally got intimate with the grl I like . As I started lifting her shrt she stuck her hand down my pants an grabbed my junk . She immediately stoppedhat she was doing snickered an calmly said "Take me home." FML
Today... working as a nurse... I askd a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was... "Well... I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML
Friday 27 March 2015