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schuhbacca

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schuhbacca's page activity

Visits<b>elk21dbm</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 11:29pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 7:26am

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schuhbacca's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14807) - you deserved it (38483)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33388) - you deserved it (2065)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was debating with my now ex-boyfriend over the ethics of using torture in interrogations of suspected criminals. It took just ten minutes before he freely admitted that he'd have no problem "torturing the shit" out of me if he even suspected I was seeing another man. FML

#20015148
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20493) - you deserved it (3482)

On 08/11/2012 at 12:38pm - love - by what the actual fuck (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML

#20015021
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24876) - you deserved it (7805)

On 08/11/2012 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

#20014909
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41738) - you deserved it (4794)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "happy birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML

#20009566
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34523) - you deserved it (3741)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to have some fun by joining a Harry Potter forum and making a thread saying it's all for little kids. When I checked back later, my post had been edited into me tearfully coming out of the closet, and some guy had said he'd passed my details on to Anonymous. FML

#20004185
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5415) - you deserved it (33988)

On 08/05/2012 at 4:21pm - misc - by icybrent94 (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go to the gym with him, and I responded that we could do another kind of workout upstairs. He quickly said he'd rather just go to the gym. FML

#20000076
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25472) - you deserved it (5491)

On 08/03/2012 at 8:14am - intimacy - by rejected4555 (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML

#19996058
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33821) - you deserved it (5911)

On 08/01/2012 at 5:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the power went out in my area. My wife and I were bored so I lit some candles, poured some wine, and left little to her imagination about what my intent was. We cuddled a while and as I leaned in for a kiss the power came back on. She was more excited that the WiFi was back than anything. FML

#19986265
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23175) - you deserved it (2004)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML

#19940799
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22924) - you deserved it (4434)

On 07/15/2012 at 11:12am - love - by SwAGkiLlS - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

#19939596
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34135) - you deserved it (39546)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

#19939315
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29988) - you deserved it (4997)

On 07/15/2012 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML

#19936379
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12682) - you deserved it (28409)

On 07/14/2012 at 7:15am - intimacy - by zstarr - United States (Georgia)



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