Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

schuhbacca

Search for a member

schuhbacca

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1002
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

schuhbacca's page activity

Visits<b>elk21dbm</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 11:29pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 7:26am

schuhbacca's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of schuhbacca's badges

schuhbacca's favorite FMLs

Today I Textd My Boyfriend Saying Tat I Couldn't Wait 4 Im To Get Ome An See My Costume An Tat I Ad Dressd Up As A Nakd Lady. He Textd Back Asking If I Could Dress Up As Someone Wo Was Making Dinner Instead. FML

#20142541
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30782) - you deserved it (6515)

On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)

Today, mah boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28181) - you deserved it (2926)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

whilst in an argumant with mah grlfriand, I told har sha was tha craziast bitch I'd avar mat!! Sha raspondad with "Challanga accaptad." I'm now tarrifiad!! FML

#20139786
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10310) - you deserved it (40763)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

today ma grandma took it upon erself to give me te sex talk. After explaining te mecanics in excessive detail se said I souldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently I ned to be comfortable wit te mano'll be ( conning me into blowing im 4 te next 50 years. ) FML

#20134273
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25884) - you deserved it (2510)

On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with mah grlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

#20132312
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24020) - you deserved it (16537)

On 10/25/2012 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

TODAY, MY BOYFRIEND AN I WERE HAVING SEX, AN I ASKED HIM TO CALL ME SOMETHING SWEET. HE CALLED ME HONEY BOO BOO. FML

Today, I Cummed Home To Fine An Almost Completely Devoured Cheesecake, The Notebook Playing On The TV, And A Shoe Thrown At My Head . It's Safe To Say My Grlfriend Is Just About On Her Period . FML

#20128340
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27973) - you deserved it (4998)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today... I tried role playing wit ma boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie... I announced... "I'm Natalia... a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian an yur cock." He lauged so ard e practically pissed imself. Te nigt ended in me doing is laundry. Alone.

#20119371
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32036) - you deserved it (18493)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Taday my boyfriend an I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home coverd in pee. mega FML

#20113299
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23484) - you deserved it (6071)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked mah husband to come upstairs to our bedroom, thinking I could get some "special time." It ended up with us arguing about his mother, and him falling asleep cuddling mah pillow while sucking his thumb. FML

#20113138
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19806) - you deserved it (3152)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:15am - love - by anonymous2.0 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstars. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole u didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16213) - you deserved it (61205)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

yesterday I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope u kept the receipt." FML

#20106911
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30705) - you deserved it (3997)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by juliette (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style!! I was looool getting close when he suddenly blurts out, ( Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole!! ) FML

#20095626
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31649) - you deserved it (5016)

On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Taday in the middle of sex, mah boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

#20092519
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12103) - you deserved it (44962)

On 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today , while having sex with my boyfriend , he came. This was a good thing , except when he did he startd bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I askd him about it , all he said was , "I thought you'd like it." FML

#20089963
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22124) - you deserved it (3553)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by wickedbeauty333 (woman) - United States (Texas)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: