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schuhbacca

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schuhbacca

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schuhbacca's page activity

Visits<b>elk21dbm</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 11:29pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 7:26am

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Today, I was giving mah guy a blowjob. When he blurtd out, "Oh Jesus" I assumd I was doing a good job. I lookd up to see the expression on his face an noticd a look of terror. He looool was staring at mah growling cat, two second away from clawing his face off. big fat FML

#20514475
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39513) - you deserved it (5555)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom . When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." mega FML

#20510302
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38832) - you deserved it (9294)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside!! Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see mah dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard!! He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma!! FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (6008)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, It's My Boyfriend's Birthday. He Really Likes Legend Of Zelda, So I Putted On A Link Hat, Took My Cloths Off, An Waited 4 Him At His Place. He Came Home With A Hooker. FML

#20502217
175 comments

Today, I discovered the true meaning of bieng scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needles to say something emerged from me. mega FML

TODAY... MY GRLFRIEND COMPLIMENTED ME ON MY ASS. BEFORE I COULD SAY TANKS... SE CONTINUED BY COMMENTING TAT SE WOULDN'T MIND "BREAKING IT IN". FML

#20478275
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35134) - you deserved it (5951)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interestd in 4 some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's pickd up an STD from unprotectd sex. FML

#20472998
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31494) - you deserved it (3576)

On 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by SonofDonald (man) - United States

Today, Mah Hubby Asked 4 A Morning Blow Job, An I Happily Obliged. All Was Going Great Until He Came An Farted At The Same Time. I Laughed An Reassured Him It Was No Big Deal. He Cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48863) - you deserved it (5876)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today , while having sex with mah boyfriend , he reachd out onto mah dressing table to grab the lube. He missd , an found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

#20467584
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46103) - you deserved it (7287)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Yesterday, mah boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbd his butt to control his thrust and got a clump of usd toilet paper. FML

#20465889
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60437) - you deserved it (6952)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realizd tat I'm so depressd tat I can't even watc porn witout getting upset about ow I can't get laid. FML

#20465100
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34816) - you deserved it (9769)

On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I FINALLY FELT READY TO HAVE SEX FIR THE FIRST TIME, WITH MAH BOYFRIEND OF NEARLY 8 MONTHS . WHEN I TOLD HIM, THING BECAME INTIMATE AND PANTS CUMMED OFF . HE THEN LOOKED AT ME AND SAID, "YEAH, I CAN'T DO THIS." THE REST OF THE NIGHT WAS SPENT IN AWKWARD SILENCE . FML

#20460703
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43734) - you deserved it (6010)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today,hile giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moand and commentd, "If only u could fuck this well." FML

#20455279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33319) - you deserved it (8299)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML

#20441551
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27081) - you deserved it (5357)

On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, After Having Sex For The First Time With Mah Girlfriend, I Realisd I Was In Love With Her!! I Noticd She Had An Eyelash On Her Breast!! After Tugging It A Few Times I Realisd It Was Actually A Single Black Nipple Hair!! She Was So Embarrassd, She Kickd Me Out And Now Won't Return Mah Calls!! Big Fat FML

#20426821
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32725) - you deserved it (25256)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)



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