About schrbj : Stalker...FML!
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37595) - you deserved it (4968)
On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19937) - you deserved it (910)
On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20771) - you deserved it (1896)
On 03/14/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by CierraJordan - United States (Utah)
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21401) - you deserved it (4320)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States
Today, due to the powerful antibiotic I was taking for a bad infection on my knee, I had no control over my bowels and proceeded to shit my pants while discussing a plumbing problem in a customers basement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19016) - you deserved it (1190)
On 03/06/2012 at 6:53am - health - by beernuts - United States
Today, due to the powerful antibiotic I was taking for a bad infection on my knee, I had no control over my bowels and proceeded to shit my pants while discussing a plumbing problem in a customers basement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19016) - you deserved it (1190)
On 03/06/2012 at 6:53am - health - by beernuts - United States
Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19374) - you deserved it (3848)
Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy, when suddenly he pulled out and told me that "he had another fat chick meeting him in twenty minutes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27069) - you deserved it (10609)
On 08/29/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38242) - you deserved it (10978)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15791) - you deserved it (2419)
On 12/25/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went on a date with a man I met on Halloween. It appears that his mullet wasn't actually part of his costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13126) - you deserved it (4913)
On 11/03/2009 at 9:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54599) - you deserved it (12513)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54599) - you deserved it (12513)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54599) - you deserved it (12513)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML
I agree, your life sucks (19071) - you deserved it (74767)
On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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