This member hasn't filled in the description.
Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39047) - you totally deserved it (5921)
On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went on a date and it was going great. When we got our meals, he told me I had to try what he was having, and he fed me a bite. I said something like "oh that was cute" and he replied with "I was just trying to see how big your mouth is." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15498) - you totally deserved it (1898)
On 11/23/2009 at 10:22pm - love - by OpenWide (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12535) - you totally deserved it (1732)
On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2803) - you totally deserved it (8276)
On 11/22/2009 at 8:35pm - intimacy - by Sam (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I submitted an entry for a logo design contest for my employer. Apparently, it is possible to lose a contest even when you had the only entry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16785) - you totally deserved it (2057)
On 11/21/2009 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my jeep wouldn't start so I opened the hood. I slammed my fingers in my jeep's hood. It latched shut. My hood release was inside the cab, and the jeep was in neutral and on an incline. It started to roll... with a ditch about 5 yards away. I had to skin my own fingers to get them out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24920) - you totally deserved it (3824)
On 11/20/2009 at 8:28pm - misc - by FoundMyLighter (man) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I finally got an interview at a restaurant after looking for a job for three months. I dressed nice, and the interview was going well until this blonde girl in booty shorts and fishnets walked in. The manager hired her on the spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12318) - you totally deserved it (717)
On 11/19/2009 at 8:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10335) - you totally deserved it (1493)
On 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by pussystroker (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, I drove from Seattle, WA to Vancouver, BC for the Three Days Grace concert. I was so excited when I found the building. There was a big readerboard that flashed "THREE DAYS GRACE" and I cheered. Then it flashed "CANCELLED." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17729) - you totally deserved it (4273)
On 11/18/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by illinformed (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21666) - you totally deserved it (1966)
On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)
Today, I was late for an interview. Going into the elevator, a man ran up to the doors but since I was late, I pressed the "close" button. When I arrived to the office, the secretary asked me to wait. The boss walked in to interview me. The man whose face I closed the elevator doors on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2869) - you totally deserved it (28702)
On 11/17/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by xYumix - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I finished installing a brand new engine in my old car. It cost just over $6000. Later, I was waiting at a red light and an uninsured drunk driver smashed into it head on. It's completely totaled. I got to drive it 5 miles. The car is worth $1000, even with a new engine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16800) - you totally deserved it (1967)
On 11/15/2009 at 9:59pm - money - by stupidoldcar (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6096) - you totally deserved it (19621)
On 11/15/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, at 2 in the morning, a noisy work crew started up in the parking lot next to my apartment. What were they doing at that ungodly hour? Installing a light that now shines right into my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17430) - you totally deserved it (738)
On 11/15/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by theropod (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, a neighbour called to say my water tank burst. A colleague followed me home to help, took off his shirt so it wouldn't get wet and climbed through my window to get to the roof. My boyfriend unexpectedly came home as we were emerging from the bedroom. My colleague was still buttoning his shirt up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27726) - you totally deserved it (2953)
On 11/15/2009 at 3:42am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
