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schhichick's FML badges
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
schhichick's favorite FMLs
by queenmeme / 10/08/2014 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/30/2014 at 2:48pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I'm on the last day of my honeymoon in Ireland. My wife and I have an amazing hotel room and a huge bed. She's passed out drunk and if I even touch her, she needs the bucket next to our bed. So much for finishing our week on a "fun" note. FML
by superman21 / 09/28/2014 at 6:55pm / Ireland / Love
Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML
by lolwut / 09/11/2014 at 2:33am / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, a middle-aged customer tried to pay for a $2 ice cream bar with a credit card. It was declined, so he made me swipe it again. Declined. "Quit touching the metal strip," he scowled. I held the outer edge of it and swiped. Declined. He then bitched me out as his mother paid for him. FML
by shadyladyhh / 09/09/2014 at 5:00pm / United States / Work
Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML
by imgonnadie / 09/07/2014 at 11:11am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by very punny / 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2014 at 1:24pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Work
Today, I wore a tank top for the first time in a few years. It turned out even worse than the last time. I got insulted by several people over my "Never say never" upper chest tattoo, which I got years ago, before the words ever became associated with a certain douchy Canadian pop "singer". FML
by beaverfever / 08/06/2014 at 12:45pm / Poland (Zachodniopomorskie) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML
by Emliy / 08/01/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML
by 5p4571k / 05/25/2014 at 1:35pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
Today, I was hosting my daughter's thirteenth birthday party. One parent decided to stay at my house, the only parent to do so. The entire night she critiqued every decision I made, from the films to the cake. When it was time to open presents, her kid was the only one without one. FML
by madbirthdaymomma / 05/15/2014 at 11:15pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids