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schalk

Offline (the 01/12/2016 at 7:04pm) | Search for a member

schalk

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 March 1980 (35 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5002
  • Number of comments : 244
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About schalk : Don't be a smartass if you're not smart, otherwise you're just an ass.

schalk's page activity

Visits<b>rainbowsRlove</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 12:02pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 1:15pm<b>CompanionCube220</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 1:46pm<b>Georgia951</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:03pm<b>brieee</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 2:57pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 4:47pm<b>ThatGuy1411</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 1:43pm<b>derpina72</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:01am<b>em_iweird</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 2:06am<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 9:05pm<b>Harpy</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 12:34pm<b>Beealicious</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:00am<b>lolcat97</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 9:24pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 10:04pm<b>madrid201</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 8:32pm<b>anonfmler08</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 4:43am<b>PeaceTea13</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 12:55pm<b>boredgirl123</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 7:56pm

Fucked!<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 7:15pm

schalk's FML badges

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of schalk's badges

schalk's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out how hard a lemon is to the nuts when being hurled by an angry girlfriend for losing at Wii Sports. FML

#14654944
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28706) - you deserved it (4887)

On 01/20/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by neverhavingkids (man) - United States (California)

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

#14653951
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44602) - you deserved it (3732)

On 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by fianceeless (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

#14616201
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30517) - you deserved it (4209) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34766) - you deserved it (21490) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML

#14587697
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35719) - you deserved it (3780)

On 01/15/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML

#14587697
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35719) - you deserved it (3780)

On 01/15/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

#14585624
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13941) - you deserved it (51151)

On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, while working at a dollar store, I was clobbered by a woman because apparently, I was ripping her off by charging two dollars for two doughnuts. She didn't understand that she couldn't buy multiple items at once for one dollar. FML

#14568173
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31722) - you deserved it (2549)

On 01/13/2011 at 6:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cop laughed at me. FML

#14552215
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12334) - you deserved it (30664)

On 01/12/2011 at 8:29am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went to the bathroom and my pee split into 4 different streams, none of which actually hit the toilet. FML

#14540407
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29225) - you deserved it (6786)

On 01/11/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss asked for recommendations on how to improve the office. I sent her an e-mail full of my ideas. Later, my boss sent me a reply, saying, "Here's what head office thinks of your ideas." It contained a list of insults upper management made about me. FML

#14531234
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25519) - you deserved it (3594)

On 01/10/2011 at 8:23am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74520) - you deserved it (4018)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53294) - you deserved it (9001)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realised it takes me longer to take a dump than it does to have sex with my boyfriend. I also realised taking a dump is more satisfying. FML

#14442840
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38972) - you deserved it (6321)

On 01/02/2011 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

#14393948
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38942) - you deserved it (5903)

On 12/30/2010 at 9:09am - intimacy - by georgiahick -



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