sceneblondie

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sceneblondie

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2805
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

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sceneblondie's page activity

Visits<b>PresAgent</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 9:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 5:33pm<b>austinsixx1994</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 10:51pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 3:05pm<b>Jazed</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 11:43pm<b>youdumbstick</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 9:09am<b>gqlmno</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 10:58am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 5:45am<b>futureot1</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 9:12am<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 1:02am<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 12:55pm<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 5:02pm<b>dudeman1212</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 2:25pm<b>levodkamartini</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 11:56am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 5:49am<b>thycleverestname</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 5:35pm<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 1:40am<b>FlowerMama</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 5:13am

Fucked!<b>gqlmno</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 4:59pm

sceneblondie's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of sceneblondie's badges

sceneblondie's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

by Gurior / 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML

by wetsheets / 01/07/2013 at 8:01am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

by valnaj1 / 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

by djl / 12/20/2012 at 12:30am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm / Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan) / Animals

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2012 at 1:46am / United States / Love

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

by tcm123 / 10/29/2012 at 12:31am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

by AdamwithanA / 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had my first orgasm. Unfortunately, it was during breakup sex. FML

by Depression... / 10/10/2012 at 2:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals