Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

scarman

Offline (the 02/09/2014 at 8:38pm) | Search for a member

scarman

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 145
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

scarman's page activity

Visits<b>BBlah</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 4:15am<b>Mr_Brightside209</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 12:51pm<b>JK0909</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:35pm<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 4:52am<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 12:03am<b>buonotomato</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 6:56pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 3:16pm<b>jksheets11</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 1:38am<b>DrMessed</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 12:54am<b>mufasaniqqa</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 4:38pm<b>Kah1on</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:37am<b>Lystune42</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 1:34pm<b>chattysoul890</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 8:59pm<b>urinal_shitter</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 4:49pm<b>Roskie</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 4:36pm<b>rabechan</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 2:08pm<b>The_Shrimp52</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 1:43pm<b>robotiick7</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 10:08am

scarman's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of scarman's badges

scarman's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41908) - you deserved it (4126)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36872) - you deserved it (5108)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44206) - you deserved it (4245)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34887) - you deserved it (3483)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28963) - you deserved it (15360)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML

#19656531
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15068) - you deserved it (3396)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:11am - work - by Rebecca (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

#19158359
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27075) - you deserved it (2122)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:33am - misc - by BadGuyLuck (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, someone peed in my physical education locker. The only way someone could've done it is with a ladder. I'm so popular it hurts. FML

#19084261
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24151) - you deserved it (4576)

On 02/15/2012 at 7:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was called to reports of a drunk and disorderly male. I arrived to discover a drunk man having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me me and shouted 'God save the Queen'. It's then that I remembered that it's my job to do something about it. FML

#13444115
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28093) - you deserved it (2930)

On 10/14/2010 at 9:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Reserved

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML

#6378633
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8087) - you deserved it (16436)

On 11/20/2009 at 9:53am - intimacy - by WorstMedicalBill (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML

#5151842
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52129) - you deserved it (4757)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm - love - by nick2.0 (man) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: