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scarletscarface's FML badges
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scarletscarface's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 3:41pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML
by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 2:54pm / United States / Animals
by goldfish / 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
by Kayla / 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Health
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
by lotrgeek / 02/13/2012 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by suckstobefat / 01/22/2012 at 1:10am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
by anonymous / 01/13/2012 at 12:05am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Duplighost / 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML
by wellthatsawkward / 12/30/2011 at 1:35am / United States (Utah) / Love
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by TuteSweet / 08/12/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/22/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML
by bigjohn106 / 07/17/2011 at 8:34am / United States (Maryland) / Love
by douglas / 07/17/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Washington) / Kids
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…