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sayraaaaah_

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Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML

#20535997
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33494) - you deserved it (5015)

On 03/08/2013 at 4:22pm - love - by Kiki (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33046) - you deserved it (19020)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, my neighbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to, "get in the Christmas spirit." FML

#20404496
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29594) - you deserved it (10149)

On 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm - misc - by James (man) - United States

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23444) - you deserved it (3043)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML

#20126033
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14891) - you deserved it (10126)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after finishing a song during karaoke, a man came up to me and held out his hand. Quite flattered, I shook it, said thanks and that I was glad he enjoyed it. Turns out he was next and just wanted the microphone. FML

#20049122
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16305) - you deserved it (8545)

On 08/30/2012 at 4:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

#19861298
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8914) - you deserved it (26097) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm - misc - by Bernadette (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML

#19697677
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23054) - you deserved it (2450)

On 05/29/2012 at 3:54am - health - by sopheeah - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I wanted to freshen up my room, so I bought some Febreze. Standing on my bed, I began to spray, not noticing that the air vent directly across was turned on. The spray came directly back at me. The doctor says that the irritation in my eyes may last for several days. FML

#19084596
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10272) - you deserved it (21168)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:18am - health - by prettysmellingbedroom - United States

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

#18995010
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23055) - you deserved it (2710)

On 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by wetdreams - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

#18966700
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28994) - you deserved it (3587)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:19am - intimacy - by crybaby - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16864) - you deserved it (49846)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, after having recently moved 300 miles to be with my boyfriend of 2 years, I have to celebrate Christmas alone. He never thought our relationship important enough to tell his family about me, and doesn't want it to be "awkward." FML

#18592385
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29082) - you deserved it (4429)

On 12/23/2011 at 8:32pm - love - by FML (woman) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I had my first kiss with the woman I've been in love with for two years. Right as I kissed her, some guys drove by in a car and threw some soggy spaghetti at me, yelling, "Noob!" FML

#18586943
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31224) - you deserved it (3045)

On 12/23/2011 at 5:53am - love - by johncabbot25 (man) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend left me for my neighbor. Her name is Hope. She'd better "hope" I don't take a dump in her yard. FML

#18471784
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25147) - you deserved it (14633)

On 12/09/2011 at 9:48pm - misc - by queenlatifa101bebe (woman) - United States



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