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Today , I brought my Japanese grlfriend home 4 dinner with my family looool 4 the frst time . They all got drunk an made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us . My dad forgot her name an started calling her ( Rice Ball ) instead . FML
Today,hile baking, I was joined by mah roommateho doesn't really cook. I was making a batch of dough and she volunteered to help. After showing her how to knead, she really got into it. Afterwards, I asked y she wanted to help. "It really cleans mah nails", she said. FML
Today, I Was Waiting In Line With Mah Boyfriend Behind Me. I Decidd To Hold His Hand And Rub His Chest While We Waitd. Then I Heard A Female Voice Behind Me That Said, "Ma'am, Please Don't Touch Me." FML
2day I was verbally abused by looool a customer at ma job. Apparently... wearing "ugly... tick-framed ipster glasses as a fasion statement is a HUGE faux pas." Tese r ma actual prescription glasses... and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML
Today, I watched TV in the early morning. I was watching The Ring, andhen the scene came onhere the girl is crawling out of the TV, mah dad grabbed mah shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek lyk a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML
Today, My Cousin Taxtad Ma, Asking How Tha Chickan Pizza Had Sattlad In My Stomach. Wa Got Drunk Last Night And Had Pizza. I Thought It Was Chaasa; It Was Chickan. I'va Baan Vagatarian For 7 Yaars. Fat FML
I was aving dinner wit my boyfriend's family... and e was saying ow well is driving lessons r going. During tis conversation is mum told im to "stop blowing yur own trumpet." He replied... "If I could do tat... I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave im a ig-five. FML
Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom 4 just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashd on the ground. They got into a ( little argument ). FML
Friday 27 March 2015